I don’t know about you, but when I watch a movie where the characters go through a harrowing situation I always wonder to myself how far I would make it in the same circumstances, or how long the actors would last. Now there’s a simulator that looks to examine how long cast members of The Hunger Games would last in a real battle to the death, and according to these results, star Jennifer Lawrence would totally lose.
Late last year, a developer with the awesome name Brant Steel created a program designed to imitate the kids-murdering-kids-for-entertainment action of The Hunger Games. You can throw any old picture—of yourself, a loved one, a fictional character, whatever—into the simulator to see how long you will last. MTV got the brilliant idea to actually use the cast of The Hunger Games to see who would emerge the victor in real life. And lets just say that, at least according this scenario, should the situation on set or at a press junket ever devolve into a winner-take-all bloodfest, J. Law isn’t going to be the one to walk away.
Throwing everybody into the mix, not just the tributes—you also have the likes of Woody Harrelson, Natalie Dormer, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and more—results in computer generated mayhem in this instance. Lawrence would survive for a time, though partially due to the kindness of others. The simulation has her losing a fight with Jena Malone almost immediately, though the victor would allow the Oscar-winner to live to fight another day.
Not so with Lawrence’s next encounter, which is likely to scar some devotees of The Hunger Games for life. Not only does this mockup have Lawrence falling shortly after the initial flurry of activity, they have her dying by the hand of Josh Hutcherson. Those of you familiar with the dystopian franchise know that the two actors play star-crossed soul mates Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark. But remember, before you start writing memorial fan fiction, even though Peeta did try to kill Katniss in the last movie, he doesn’t succeed. This is just random internet meme and has no bearing on the real world, and by real world I mean the movies. You were worried there for a moment, weren’t you?
At the end of the day, or at least the end of this mock Hunger Games, the victor is none other than Gwendoline Christie, who joins the franchise as Commander Lyme, leader of the rebellion in District 2. Look at the new kid, coming out of nowhere to take the crown. This version of events has the Game of Thrones and Star Wars: The Force Awakens star slaughtering Lenny Kravitz for his supplies in a final showdown.
This is fun, but it’s really just a way for fans to kill time until The Hunger Games: Mockingjay—Part 2 hits theaters on November 20.