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This trailer is NSFW, where the W stands for "weenies who can’t handle awesomeness."

From the intermission of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarentino’s Grindhouse rose the hilariously over-the-top Machete, and from the depths of Rodriguez’s passion pit came the even more outrageous but uneven Machete Kills. I’m pretty sure a couple of wishing wells and a fleet of warlocks will need to get involved in order for Machete Kills Again…In Space to ever see the light of day, but at least we have the above trailer for an explosive glimpse at what might have been had the sequel not tanked at the box office. The trailer was aired during the movie, so you may not have seen it yet.

Whereas the first two films were born of a love for exploitation films steeped in rapid-paced violence and thin plots, Machete Kills Again…In Space is an entirely original looking project that doesn’t hark back to any other particular film in cinema’s history. Particularly nothing George Lucas ever created that rhymes with Snar Bars. Well, I guess the blasters and lightsaber machetes do kind of make it look like Star Wars. But Michelle Rodriguez says "photons," and science fiction has definitely never seen those used before in a weapon.

If the film did get made, it would be good news for all those Leonardo DiCaprio fans who have been dying to see the talented actor step up to the plate against a nemesis as cocksure as Machete. That is, unless they’d find another actor to do it, since they left that open for themselves. But he probably wants to finally make that second film in his Colored Masks trilogy.

It’s amusing that the film gets an X rating, notably for prolonged sexual content and space violence, as it makes one wonder if such a harsh rating would do anything to hurt the film’s earnings. The second film’s $14 million worldwide take didn’t even match its budget. A shame, really, considering all of the actors involved probably starred in films this year that made twice as much money.

But if you were one of those who saw the film and loved it, you’ll be happy to know Universal has already dropped a street date for it. It’ll be out on VOD on January 7, 2014, and on Blu-ray and DVD on January 21, 2014, with bonus features including a making-of featurette and deleted and extended scenes. So there’s no need to go blow up a helicopter in anticipation. Machete’s got you covered.