Tom Cruise Is Our Next President

Well, given all those rumors of Scientology’s power over the entire world, it was only a matter of time before Tom Cruise became our fearless leader. OK, OK, don’t panic. He’ll just play our fearless leader, in an upcoming thriller called The 28th Amendment. If you’re running to Wikipedia to figure out which amendment that is (as I did), stop right there! There is no 28th Amendment… yet. Will President Cruise enact one that lets you become President if you’ve been unfairly denied an Oscar at a certain point in your career?

Moviehole confirmed that Cruise will take the role, with Denzel Washington co-starring as a the head of a super-secret organization that actually controls the government. You mean like the Masons? Or the Skull and Bones society? Phillip Noyce, who made Patriot Games and the recent, excellent political thriller Catch a Fire among others, will direct.

No one turned out to see Cruise play a cocky senator in last fall’s Lions for Lambs, so do you think we’ll want to see him as President as well? Cruise is in the middle of a big attempt at a career turn-around, and seems to be foiled at every attempt—his top-secret cameo in Tropic Thunder was spoiled months ago, and Valkyrie is plagued by delays and rumors that it’s not good. Could this be his chance to make us love him again? After all, we’re suckers for a depiction of a decent President, given the way things are going now. So long as he doesn’t let Xenu be his co-pilot, I think I’d be willing to sing “Hail to the Chief.”

Katey Rich

Staff Writer at CinemaBlend