Some movie rumors are clearly, obviously untrue, but you can't help but be amused by them. And because of the veil of secrecy regarding Star Wars: Episode VII - No Sleep Til Dagobah, it's easy to let your mind wander as to what exactly is going on at J.J. Abrams' UK set. Did they give Harrison Ford a robot leg? Is Chewbacca going to have a dance sequence? And is Tom Cruise going to appear in the movie? Will he dance with Chewbacca?
The Mirror "reports" that Tom Cruise indeed might be in line for a cameo appearance in Star Wars: Episode VII. Apparently Cruise has spent the last week in London (probably promoting Edge Of Tomorrow) and has found time to swing by Pinewood Studios and chat with old chum J.J. Abrams, discussing a possible cameo. This connection is plausible because Abrams directed Cruise in Mission: Impossible III and produced both Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol and the upcoming Mission: Impossible V.
Aaaaaand that's the only reason why it's plausible. Tom Cruise is still one of the biggest stars in the universe. Edge Of Tomorrow is going to be considered an "underperformer" even though it could end up grossing $400 million worldwide. If a guy has a history of smash movies that continues until today, and he's a buddy of Abrams, and he's a Star Wars fan, you don't think Disney is going to act on that until now? You don't think that "Tom Cruise Stars In... A Star Wars Thing, Coming This June" isn't a surefire money maker?
No, sir, Tom Cruise doesn't "cameo" in your movie. Why would he do that?
Oh. Okay, well, forget that. Maybe he does cameo sometimes.
Regardless, Tom Cruise is not doing a "pop-in" to Star Wars. Audiences have expectations of Tom Cruise, and if they see him, they want excitement and action. Having Tom Cruise do the Kessel Run on foot and killing 20 stormtroopers with his fists would be cool for a 10 minute segment, but we'd all wonder when we're going to see Cruise again after he leaves the movie.
This is also the sort of movie reporting that thinks everyone is obsessed with movies, even the people who punch a clock to make them. Maybe it's true that Tom Cruise and J.J. Abrams met in a London hotel. Is it really certain they discussed a Star Wars cameo? Maybe they just had lunch. Maybe they talked about their kids. Maybe Abrams wanted to get away from the Star Wars universe for a minute and just have a breath of fresh air with a buddy who just happens to be one of the most world-famous people of all-time.
Tom Cruise is not appearing in Star Wars. But the lunch he and Abrams had was probably delicious.
