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Raise your hand if you currently aren’t directing the announced Star Wars: Episode VII. Get them up there. OK, let’s get a count. One, two, three … yes, that’s everyone. Everyone should be raising their hand, because no one has been confirmed, and everyone from Quentin Tarantino to Steven Spielberg has had to go on record to say they’re not directing the anticipated sequel.

But if Wes Anderson wanted to audition for the chance to direct the next Star Wars, Conan O’Brien imagines it would look a little something like this:

Who knew Han Solo was a member of the Junior Telescope Club?

O’Brien didn’t stop there. He also imagined a Todd Phillips-style take on Star Wars, and its as pandering as you probably assumed. Take a look:

Vomiting R2-D2? Hungover Chewie with a shaved back? A horny Yoga coming out of the closet? OK, on second thought, I actually want to see this version of the story. I might even want to see it more than what Disney and Lucasfilm actually cook up (depending on whom they actually hire for the directing gig).

The good news for O’Brien is that this joke now has legs, and he can ride it all the way to 2015, when the proposed Star Wars sequel is supposed to hit theaters. Who doesn’t want to see Brett Ratner’s Star Wars audition tape? How about Kevin Smith’s? Oh, I’ve got six words for you. Michael Bay’s Star Wars audition tape. This bit just keeps re-writing itself, Mr. O’Brien. You’re welcome.