Picture the following scenario: you're minding your own business, say at a party or on a long train ride home, and all of a sudden, BAM! There's been a murder. Some poor sap's ticket to the great skyline has been punched, and you know for sure you didn't do it, much like the folks in this weekend's Murder on the Orient Express. But who did? Well, if you're a detective, you'll be able to figure it out in no time. But if you aren't, you're going to need someone smart to connect the dots and handle the riff raff. If you're in need of a gumshoe during such troubled times, consider the following list your Yellow Pages for the top film detectives who can take your case.

Jake Gittes - Chinatown

In all honesty, you're going to be hard pressed to find a case as messed up and twisted as that of Chinatown. With land purchases, bureaucratic conspiracy and a heaping helping of abuse, private detective Jake Gittes goes from being hired to tail someone's husband to trying to save the lives of two women who really need it. And in the middle of it all, he solves a murder case, which only feeds into the larger conspiracy at hand. So if you're thinking of hiring Jake, you're going to get more than you bargained for, including expenses and medical.

Eddie Valiant - Who Framed Roger Rabbit

The fact that the alcoholic Eddie Valiant can speak or walk straight, much less solve the mystery of Marvin Acme's unfortunate "cacking" at the heart of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, is a mystery even we can't solve. But this legendary detective with a history of working Toontown was able to put aside his prejudice, sober up enough to see the truth and uncover a web very similar to that of Jake Gittes' mystery. So hiring him to do the job is gonna require a bit of money and a rocks glass of the good stuff, but he's worth every drop.

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