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Disney movies are among the best media for children out there, and maybe even more than a few adults. It's not a weird thing to love Disney movies; they can be intoxicating. However, with that intoxication comes a viewpoint in which some movies aren't critiqued as heavily as they sometimes should be.
I recently went on a Disney binge, and after a few movies, I began to realize there were some glaring issues never really addressed in some of my childhood favorites. Here are some of my major gripes below, and yes, a good deal of these complaints involve the monarchy.
Did Other Mermaids Ask To Get Legs After Ariel Left?
When Ariel first received legs thanks to a terrible deal with Ursula, it's assumed these types of acts are reserved for the likes of Sea Witches at a terrible cost. Yet The Little Mermaid shows that King Triton is also capable of such feats, after he restores Ariel's human legs so that she can live a life of luxury above ground with Prince Eric. One has to wonder, did any of Triton's daughters feel like they got the short end of the stick?
We're told it's better and wetter under the sea, but surely Ariel can't be the only mermaid looking to start a life on land. I can't imagine this act skated by without controversy, and some other mermaids soon approached the king to see if they couldn't leave the world of fish for something new. Perhaps because Ariel was considered a bit of an odd duck to begin with, everyone was cool with it and maybe secretly glad the girl who twirled dinglehoppers through her hair was finally away from the kingdom.
What Exactly Changed Between Simba's Rule And Scar's?
Beyond the fact I found it weird a large portion of the animal kingdom bowed to a ruler that ultimately hunted them to survive, I never quite understood how the kingdom was in such dire straits over the course of Scar's reign. It's never entirely clear how much time passed between Simba's exile and return, but even if it was the full 4-5 years it would take for him to reach maturity, can Scar be blamed for the state the Pride Lands were in that time?
In reality, even letting the hyenas hunt where they may in the Pride Lands couldn't have desolated the area as much as it did. And even if it did, what was a lion who only just came out of isolation on a diet of nothing but bugs going to do about that? Simba had no real-world experience governing, and I never heard any thoughts on his game plan for bringing things back to order. I'm more inclined to think it was just dumb luck things turned around, and Simba just happened to return at the right time. I'm just saying, 4-5 years is a pretty solid run for people to get fed up by Scar, so who's to say Simba wouldn't have been overthrown in the same amount of time?
Why Did The Prince Rely On Shoe Size When He Saw Cinderella's Face?
Cinderella is a great story, and technically not even Disney's, but that doesn't mean they're off the hook for this one. In what world do you find a woman at a party, have a great night and then scour the town trying to size up women's feet to see if they match the woman you danced with that night? Are we really supposed to believe Cinderella was the only woman in that area with that shoe size?
Furthermore, why didn't Prince Charming simply look to see which women resembled Cinderella? Clearly her stepsisters looked nothing like her, so it was a complete waste of everyone's time that they tried to put that glass slipper on their big-ass feet to begin with. A legitimate strategy would've been to go home to home first distinguishing which women resembled Cinderella, and then ask if they left anything behind at the party. Who the hell is going to say they left a glass slipper behind? This prince may be charming, but he's not the brightest royal in the bloodline, to be sure.
Whatever Happened To That Dude Who Tried To Kill Snow White?
People really get hung up on the Evil Queen's plan to kill Snow White with a poisoned apple, but don't forget she also sent an assassin to try and kill her towards the beginning of the movie. This guy hung out and waited for Snow White to help a bird, and then pulled a knife to finish the deed. Eventually, he's overcome with emotion and warns her the Queen is trying to kill her, which helps Snow White avoid immediate danger. She runs, and we never see him again.
It's not enough for me... who was that guy? What kind of man says he'll kill a person, and then has such a sudden change of heart in a moment like that? Where did he go after all that happened? Because I can't imagine he could go back to the kingdom and answer to Queen Grimhilde. This man surely had to pay the devil his due in some way, and I've always been curious as to what became of him. Perhaps this is the basis for a Maleficent-esque spinoff?
What Exactly Was Cruella De Vil's Endgame?
One Hundred And One Dalmatians' Cruella De Vil really wanted a fur coat made out of a ton of Dalmatian puppies, so by default, she's one of the worst Disney villains. She's also one of the dumbest because it's never entirely certain how her plan is going to work. So she skins 101 puppies to make a fur coat, and then what? Was there really an expectation she'd be allowed to wear a coat made of Dalmatian fur with no legal ramifications?
There would be some sort of reckoning for that crime, unless, of course, Cruella said that the fur was fake. In that case, I can't imagine why creating a coat out of fake Dalmatian fur wouldn't have been her plan, to begin with. Also, I'm not entirely sure why it had to be puppies? I would imagine that adult Dalmatians would yield more fur and not require so many missing dogs... not that I think there's any justifying this. The point is, Cruella De Vil is as dumb as she is evil, and I'm not sure the movie ever properly addressed that.
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