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DNA Test: Michael Lohan Is The Father Of 17-Year-Old Girl

In a desperate attempt to solidify his family’s place atop the trash heap, Michael Lohan appeared on The Trisha Goddard Show today for a Maury Povich-esque paternity episode. The patriarch has long been accused of fathering a child out of wedlock with Kristi Horn, but until the television offer came up, an official test was never taken to determine whether he’s actually seventeen-year-old Ashley’s dad.

Well, the results came back during the episode, and spoiler alert: he is the father. According to Access Hollywood, Ashley was the one who opened up the envelope, and she was completely emotionless after discovering the truth. Her mother, on the other hand, sobbed, likely because the announcement marked the end of a long journey to get the famous father to admit he actually has another child.

Here’s what host Trisha Goddard had to say about Michael’s response to the big reveal…

“I don’t think it was that much a shock to him. I think he’s probably known all along.”

If true, that’s not exactly a ringing endorsement of Michael’s character. A man has to be there for his children, emotionally and monetarily. Whether he knew of his obligation and ignored it or not, Lohan missed out on being a father for seventeen years. Here’s to hoping he gets his ass in gear and does the responsible thing from this point forward. A relationship of substance with Ashley won’t come over night, but with enough stick-to-itiveness, it can be there eventually.

Mack Rawden
Mack Rawden

Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, the NBA and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.