The Wedding Planner

Making a good romantic comedy is a delicate project at best, and at worst not unlike trying to combine all the flavor and excitement of ice cream with all the nutrition and whole grain goodness of wheat bread. This process becomes even more difficult when you cast an actor who seems to REVEL in playing a big dumb hick as a doctor, and then proceed to cast an actress who’s boyfriend is a gangster and has been known to call herself “J Lo” as a helplessly cute wedding planner.

The Wedding Planner, as mentioned, stars Mathew McConaughey as a Pediatrician, and Jennifer Lopez as a high paid, cutesy, loveless, large butted wedding planner. Before the Hobbit goes further, he feels compelled to point out that he in no way dislikes Ms. Lopez’s very pronounced, bodacious, and beautiful ass. Much has been said of it by people far more verbose than the Hobbit, however it is impossible not to discuss something that was featured so prominently in the film. Its not that the film was overtly sexual towards the Lopez butt, not was it at any time featured in a tight thong or revealing lingerie. But its presence was strongly felt throughout the film in which Ms. Lopez wore tight fighting, well cut business suits in which at times it seemed her rather pronounced gludious was struggling to spring free from its material confines and make its own career on the big screen.

It’s a wonder that SOMEONE in wardrobe didn’t take notice that her skirts didn’t seem to fit, and one can only speculate how often the seams on her dresses must have split open during shooting. It was big folks… it looked even BIGGER than normal… and this coming from someone who finds its normal appearance quite pleasing indeed. Why do you care? Because you can’t sit in this film for more than 5 minutes without at some point thinking to yourself “WOW, now that is a big, well crafted ass.”

As for the film itself, there isn’t a lot of it. Filled with awkward and poorly contrived scenes, it is difficult to determine whether Wedding Planner was just badly scripted and badly directed, or whether its problems sprung from the fact that it asked audiences to believe Matthew McConaughey is smart. And whose idea was it to pretend Jennifer Lopez is Italian? She doesn’t look Italian, doesn’t sound Italian, and is really terrible and pretending she is Italian. I can’t think of one single thing in the film that did ANYTHING to lend credence to the idea that she was Italian.

But its not just the characters that make Wedding Planner come off like a pair of cement galoshes tied to your feet as you sink into the Mississippi River, it’s the story too. Frankly, you just aren’t sure who you should be rooting for. Should you root for J Lo to break up the Doctor’s marriage? Should you root for the Doctor to marry a woman who he clearly is unable to be faithful to? Or should I be rooting for the fiancé to wake up and realize that her man is really a sleaze bag who is only marrying her because he is to much of a weenie to tell her he doesn’t’ really love her? I ended up rooting for the movie to end.

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