Beware: There are Game of Thrones spoilers in this article, even for the last couple of episodes from the recently ended Season 6. Feel free to look away now if you need to catch up.
HBO's Game of Thrones has millions of fans who pore over every aspect of the show. And yet, there are probably only a few people who can name all the many, many folks who have bitten the dust on the series. Now we know that President Obama is absolutely not one of those folks. Take a look.
This video, posted to the BuzzFeed YouTube page, shows President Obama trying very slowly to make it through the names of everyone who's died a horrible death (They've all been horrible, right?) on Game of Thrones. And, as you can likely guess, he just barely got started on the list. Even not counting all the thousands of nameless soldiers who have gotten the axe from the seven kingdoms and beyond, there are still a hell of a lot of names to say when it comes to giving voice to the list of dead on that murder-heavy show. When we talk about 5 Things That Are Harder Than Registering To Vote, this certainly counts among that list.
The President starts well enough with Ned Stark, Robb Stark and Khal Drogo. Then, after trying to untangle a headphone cord, he mentions Jon Snow, and the fact that he sort of doesn't count among the dead now. Then he gets to Renly Baratheon, Summer, poor Shaggy Dog, the sadness that was Hodor, Tywin Lannister, Oberyn Martell, Ygritte, name checks Renly again and adds a "thank god" for Joffrey. If you don't count the second Renly mention and Shaggy Dog, that leaves us with 10 people that he was able to name. That doesn't account for anyone who died in the penultimate episode, but I'm going to give the Prez the benefit of the doubt and assume this video was filmed before Ramsay Bolton got fed to his dogs, Wun Wun took too many arrows or Rickon came back just to die in front of Jon and Sansa. It's was actually pretty nice of BuzzFeed to give President Obama other stuff to do, so that we almost couldn't tell that he was going to come up super short in his count.
I did a little research, and, thanks to the show's wikia (which did most of the work for me), it looks like around 500 named characters have died since Game of Thrones started in 2011, including those from Season 6. Yikes. I'm actually surprised it's not more. I mean, really, aren't you? No one is fucking safe on that show. Good people, evil people, simply not so great people: dead. I wouldn't be surprised if, at the end of the show, literally everyone we know has died. Except Ser Pounce. Westeros needs him.
Game of Thrones will return to HBO in 2017, and I'm sure former President Obama will be watching.