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While it's relatively easy to be obsessed with pop culture as an adult because having a job allows one to drop dollars on frivolous novelties and tie-ins. But when you're a kid, you just kind of have to figure out different ways of expressing your love for a certain TV show or movie, and one Irish dude unleashed a small mother lode of hilarity on the Internet by sharing pages from his childhood diary solely devoted to his love and passions for SpongeBob SquarePants. Few things are as unfiltered as this declaration of adoration.
Dear Spongbob, I am your biggest fan ever bigger than everyone eles I love you Spongbob Me and Alan are your biggest fans and Fiona We all Love Spongbob Well I really Love Spongbob more than fiona and Alan really I Love SPONGBOB!
This entry, and a couple of others, were recently shared by 18-year-old Jack Rowe on his Twitter page. All taken from the year 2007, after the first film had been out for a while, these entries were clearly inspired by a love of all things SpongeBob (or SpongBob if the letter "e" isn't your thing) and an interest in making everyone very aware that Fiona and Alan might try to act like they're the biggest fans within their circle of friends, but that shit ain't true.
This entry is my favorite, though, since it is a glorious mixture of whimsical childhood fancy and the lunacy of a psycho stalker.
Dear SpongBob I wish I was yellow like you and have holes in my body just like you. I may seem like a copycat but I am not may be I can paint my face yellow and drill holes in my face!
This all makes me think back to my own childhood and how many notebooks were filled with my own confounding ramblings, and how much I'd love for no one to ever see them. I recall a friend of mine and I recorded ourselves singing really stupid songs and other assorted oddities onto a cassette tape and sent it to Jennie Garth, who was on Beverly Hills 90210 at the time. It makes my stomach hurt to think about listening to that at this age.
Check out one more key diary entry, as well as the priceless cover.
SpongeBob SquarePants has been on the air for a long time, having debuted in 1999, and it has caused a lot of different reactions over the past 17 years. (Even when reactions are to something completely made up.) But I cannot imagine that anyone out there has felt quite the same way about the yellow, porous creature as Jack Rowe, and there's nothing really wrong with that.