America Hates Donny Osmond

Earlier this week ‘ABC’ and the producers of ‘The Bachelor’ premiered the show ‘The Great American Dream Vote.’ Don’t worry, the rest of the American public was completely unaware too. Apparently, this horribly conceived bus accident of a program would allow viewers to vote on which contestant’s obscure, pointless dream would become a reality, as if viewers wanted to call in and endorse someone morphing their car into the Batmobile. Add Donny Osmond to the equation and it all begins to resemble some elaborate Third Reich joke that only ‘ABC’ executives and possibly irony obsessed hipsters are in on.

In the year’s most unsurprising foregone conclusion, the ‘American Broadcast Company’ has mercifully pulled the plug. is reporting that the Latin Alphabet has placed ‘Dream Vote’ on “hiatus.” The Donny Osmond vehicle squandered almost seventy five percent of its twenty million vote lead in from ‘Dancing With The Stars.’ Words cannot even describe how terrible that is. I’m pretty sure John Wayne Gacy ruined less Wednesday nights than this debacle.

Unfortunately, this cancellation does create a dilemma for middle-aged goons looking to turn their trailers into moat-fortified castles. No word on where these unfortunate souls will turn.

Mack Rawden
Editor In Chief

Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, a great wrestling promo and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.