TV Recap: Celebrity Apprentice - Charity Auction

Yeah, it’s another week of Celebrity Apprentice. I’m so bored with this show, it’s ridiculous. I’m starting to feel like this is two hours of my life every week that I’m not going to ever get back.

Last week, I missed the show, and was a little confused at what was going on, because the show began mid-task. After a quick catch-up, I realized that the task began last week. Trump is giving his daughter some air time, supporting her jewelry business with a charity auction.

The task is to get as much money as you can, and Athena is destined to win on this one. Annie and her donors with endless pockets dig deep, Brandy’s got an Ace in the hole, and Jesse and Melissa do their best – or do they?

Kotu attempts to steal some of Annie’s donors with Natalie’s suave brilliance, but Annie catches wind of it, goes apey on her “friends” and yells at Natalie in front of everyone. Classy!

The Charity Auction finally begins, and Annie literally bullies people into spending more than they want to. On the other hand, Clint is so dull that people just sit there and look at him. Joan steps in and semi saves the day.

In the boardroom, Ivanka tells Kotu that she is disappointed with the way they displayed her jewelry, and that she feels a little disrespected. Piers lays into Jesse and Joan for not shamelessly asking for money from their friends with lots of it.

Melissa jumps in to save her mommy when Trump questions why Joan hasn’t called more of their mutual friends. Then Joan starts attacking Annie. While Joan has some valid points, Trump calls Joan out saying that Annie is clearly a nice person, because her friends got calls that morning, and they CAME. They didn’t just give money, they actually hopped on a plane and showed up at the event.

After a whole lot of yelling, we find out that Kotu raised $92,000 profit. Athena got over $150K profit. Clearly, Athena wins. And Holy Crap, the show is only half over. When Athena leaves the room, Melissa apologizes for her mom.

As Trump grills them, Joan starts crying saying that she doesn’t want to lose any of them. Blah, blah, blah, someone’s got to go. Herschel is safe because he saved the most money. Clint sucked as an auctioneer, but Trump says he isn’t to blame. Natalie can’t justify her fundraising abilities, and she picked the wrong jewelry, so Nat’s gone.

Annie is too busy yelling at Melissa to hear that Natalie was fired, and when Joan walks into the room it’s like WWIII. Brandy looks like a drunk hooker sitting there with a bottle of champagne, and Melissa stops Joan from saying anything nasty to Annie.

Annie gives a check for $245,000 to Refugees International, and the sweet little old guy representing them was just adorable when he saw the amount.

Next task begins now – and it starts in Trump’s gaudy dining room. The task is to create a new menu selection for Schwan’s. Try the mini corn dogs – they are fabulous.

Athena tries several recipes, including turkey meatballs with gluten-free penne pasta. Annie pushes this and gets her way. She also talks and talks and talks and talks – about herself. I’m a mom, and I do everything Annie does (except being a Poker champion) and it just comes off as obnoxious. She acts like she’s the only woman in the world who is a born multi-tasker. She alienates the people on her team, and just generally grates on everyone’s nerves.

Kotu’s meal is nasty – Joan equates it to drinking soy sauce and licking a piece of chicken. She wants to change the recipe, and that just doesn’t make sense to Clint. He can’t fathom it.

Athena starts trying the meals, and Jesse wants the chili. He can’t get enough and farts on camera. They end up going with the gluten-free pasta one.

Poor Kotu, they start their marketing campaign, and Clint wants to be featured in the commercial again. Herschel just sits there and lets him run the show.

Athena is trying to name the recipe, and they finally get one. Jesse goes ahead and does the marketing all by himself. Annie actually states that she feels left out – oh, like everyone else on your team did while you were cooking? I like Annie, but she really is full of herself.

Time to eat. Kotu seems to be great. The only thing that isn’t good is the dessert. Not that it doesn’t taste good – just a packaging nightmare.

Athena goes to the effort of making a nice board for the event. Jesse did a great job, but their marketing was non-existant.

So, back to the boardroom (again…yawn…) and even without any marketing, Athena wins. Blah, blah, blah – Clint can’t be controlled. Blah, blah, blah – Herschel did well. Blah, blah, blah – Joan cries. Herschel is fired. WTF?!?! I’m so done with this show.