TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - Matt's A Ding-A-Ling

Previously: It was family night, complete with petting zoo. The women won the pasta challenge. During dinner service, Vanessa burned her hand off. Craig went off the rails and was ultimately eliminated.

Everyone is sitting around after elimination and Vanessa says she has to go see a plastic surgeon. That must have been some hand injury. Her bandage is huge, making cooking at least difficult if not impossible.

Today’s challenge is for each team to create its version of a fine dining pizza. At Gordon’s London (the one in London, not the one in New York called London) restaurant, he has a white truffle pizza on the menu for $200. Now that may sound expensive, but if you convert that price to pounds, it’s £3.75. That’s a little international economy joke for you guys. Did you like that? Yeah, I didn’t think so. For real though, the dollar is really weak. Anyway, they have 45 minutes and over 130 ingredients for the task (including apparently, “sea merchants.” Well, according to Bobby, at least).

Each person on the team made their own pizza. The team then voted on which one was the best. The Red team chooses Jen’s pizza. The Blue team, however, only has two pizzas ready. The Blue team tries Matt’s pizza first and Ben has to spit it out; it’s so gross. The team eventually decides on Ben’s pizza without half of the team even tasting it. Ramsay tastes them both and likes them. Truthfully, Ben’s duck pizza would have won, but Ramsay tasted some grit on the mushrooms. In the end, Jen’s prosciutto pizza takes the prize.

The Red team’s prize is a helicopter ride to Santa Barbara and dinner at Square One, home of the $90 hamburger. The Blue team gets to stay behind and prep all of the pizzas for dinner service. The most important thing to take away from this is that nothing LouRoss says makes any sense, ever. He talked for about three minutes and I didn’t understand a word of it.

Vanessa goes to talk to Gordon about her hand. He tells her that she still has every opportunity to win, but that the decision to leave is hers if that’s what she wants to do. Vanessa interviews about how she’s not a quitter, but tells Ramsay that if she “can’t be here 100%,” then she doesn’t want to be there—so basically, she quits. That’s kind of weird to me. I would have at least thought she would try to make it through a dinner service. In any case, Vanessa packs her bags and leaves.

After Vanessa’s departure, the teams find out the twist for tonight’s dinner service: Pizza delivery. It’s unclear to where these pizzas are being delivered, but as another part of their punishment, the Blue team has to deliver the pizzas on some crazy golf cart thing.

Dinner service starts off smoothly for the Red team, with Jen getting her first appetizers out in record time. The Blue team, predictably, has a rockier start with Matt unable to cook the quail eggs. Speaking of the Blue team, Ben has to deliver the first batch of pizzas. Is it just me, or does Ramsay seem to especially hate Ben for some reason? It’s probably sexual tension. At least that’s what it is in my mind—and in my Gordon Ramsay Fan Fiction notebook. What? You don’t have one? Well, uh, neither do I. Shut up. Ahem. So Ben: They’re actually sending him out to a neighborhood, so that’s interesting. He manages to make his deliveries in what seems to be a reasonable time.

Meanwhile, Rosann is falling apart. Ramsay spends about a full two minutes of screen time just berating her. He then calls Jen in to help Rosann. On the other side of the kitchen, LouRoss apparently can’t cook a steak. Petrozza saves him by basically taking an overcooked steak and cutting the burned part off. Both teams manage to get through entrees and desserts, completing the service at about the same time.

Since both teams completed the service for the first time this season, Ramsay has decided that there is no losing team. However, he sends them both to the dorms to figure out someone to nominate for elimination. So doesn’t that kind of make both teams losers? The Blue team is trying to decide between nominating Matt and LouRoss. Either would be a great person to lose. The Red team, meanwhile, is leaning towards Rosann, but Jen wants Christina to go.

In the end, the Blue team nominates LouRoss and the Red team nominates Christina. Ramsay is flabbergasted that they chose her, telling Rosann that she “completely screwed” her team. After talking to both LouRoss and Christina, Ramsay tells them that there won’t be any elimination, since Vanessa left. Then he tells them to “piss off, and get some sleep.” Now that is some good advice.

Next Week: Oh lord, it’s a Hell’s Kitchen Sweet 16 party and a new chef joins one of the teams.