Tonight as we sat down for How I Met Your Mother Neighbor Steve asks “Is tonight the night of the slap bet countdown?” And sadly, the answer was no! Next Monday is the day that SlapBetCountdown.com has been counting down to, but in the meantime, we can enjoy some classic HIMYM relationship hijinks, and, for the first time all season at least, wacky sound effects! What could be worthy of wacky sound effects that wouldn’t sound stupid or hokey? Glad you asked.
1. “You’re driving the ‘I want to have sex with her’ truck, and it has a huge blind spot.” You know how when you first start dating someone, nothing about them bothers you? It all feels so fresh and new that none of their little quirks, whether it’s chewing too loudly or correcting your sentences, seem too affect you? Yeah, so does Ted. He’s so enamored with his new lady, Cathy, that he brings her out to dinner with the gang, only to have them all, well, less than enamored. “She’s a keeper,” says Robin. “Just keep her somewhere else.” Ouch! What could possibly be the cause?
2. “So kids, this girl I was dating would not stop talking. Can you imagine how miserable this is?" Oh, Future Ted, you are just as un self-aware as Present Ted (or Past Ted? Whatever.) It turns out that Cathy’s big flaw is that she talks too much, and not the way I talk too much and share too many stories about all the blogs I read about the writers’ strike, but interrupting everyone, asking questions she doesn’t really want the answer to, talking about inane topics talking too much. You know, sitcom talking too much (and if any of my boyfriend’s friends are reading this and saying “Oh, Katey, you’re just as un self-aware as Present Ted,” then I sincerely apologize.) In any case, it takes Marshall to point this out to Ted, and Ted immediately retaliates by reminding Marshall of Lily’s annoying trait: she chews too loudly (Best exchange of the episode: “Why do you think I call her Chewbacca?” “I assume because she’s loyal, wears shiny belts and I resemble a young Harrison Ford.”)
3. [Sound of glass shattering.] After Ted and Marshall drop the bombs about their respective ladies, the accusations soon follow. Lily may chew too loudly, but Ted is constantly correcting other peoples’ sentences (Robin’s in particular). Ted is obnoxious, but hey, Marshall sings virtually everything he does, including paying the bills and doing the laundry. And Barney says things in annoying high-pitched voices and overuses catchphrases (I think we all knew that one). Every time they realize someone has an obnoxious trait, we hear the sound of glass shattering-- their image of that person, ruined forever. At the end of it all we flash forward three years, when Ted runs into Cathy on the street. She’s with her fiancee, who is deaf, so he can’t hear her yammering on! Until, that is, Ted signs to him (remember how Ted knows sign language?) “She sure talks a lot, huh?” Cue the subtitle: [Sound of glass shattering.] The episode’s best one-liner.
4. "I’m sorry, I’m sure the nurses are stealing your medicine, grandma.” The other major plot of the episode revolved around Marshall trying to find out the results of his bar exam, which is made a lot more difficult because he forgot his password to log on and find out the answers (Oh the perils of the Internet age!) Barney offers to have a friend of his help, who can break through firewalls, and Marshall helpfully offers “I have a trench coat.” In the meantime all of Marshall’s law school friends call him to tell him they got the results, and he has to admit to them that he forgot the password. “I’m sure you forget things all the time!” he shouts into the phone. Yeah, that one’s his grandma, who definitely isn’t forgetting her pills. I mean, definitely. It turns out that the key lines in one of those inane songs Marshall sings to himself that Barney, Robin and everyone else all remember; it was an acronym for his password! And the results? I mean, do you really think they would let Marshall fail the bar, especially after all those flash-forwards with Marshall sitting behind a big, important-looking desk?
5. “Do a quick Google search for ‘caca spaniel.” And finally, the other major joke of the episode is Barney trying to get Marshall to watch a video of a dog pooping on a baby, which is apparently called “caca spaniel” in the magical thing that is the Internet. When Barney consults his “firewall breaking” friend, it’s actually just to get Marshall, and eventually Ted, to watch the video. Being boys, they of course think it’s funny. As someone who has watched multiple cats fall off multiple objects on YouTube, I would probably find it funny too.
I’m beyond excited for next week’s slap bet resolution, but this was a great episode, especially toward the end when everyone started pointing out each others’ flaws and, in true HIMYM style, flashing back to examples of all of them. I loved everyone harassing Lily for chewing loudly (“We have ribs the other night, and it sounded like Jurassic Park”; “When you eat it sounds like a garbage disposal full of drywall screws”) and Marshall’s singing (“Your rhymes are so sloppy”; “Sometimes you just sing nonsense phrases like a stroke victim.”) And at the end Barney pulls out his annoying trait and tells Marshall in a high pitched voice, “Law suit up!” When my friend Kim gets into law school, that will be exactly what I say to her. Literally.
