TV Recap: How I Met Your Mother-- The Ninja Report
In case you hadn't noticed the gazillion ads all over the place, our dear Marshall, a.k.a. Jason Segel, has a big movie coming out this weekend. Forgetting Sarah Marshall didn't have any ads during tonight's How I Met Your Mother, which was weird, but the writers wisely passed most of the episode along to Jason Segel, reminding us all of his charms and why we ought to see his movie! (For the record, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is actually really good, so see it even if you didn't like tonight's episode).
And the episode was... meh. I'm getting a little tired of the format of everyone sitting at McLaren's and listening to the real story of the episode, which has happened to only one of them. They did it with Ted's courtship of Stella, and they did it with the “Platinum Rule” episode right before the writer's strike. So yeah, while it's great to see the gang hanging out at McLaren's, I'd rather see them all, I don't know, do something?
Anyway, Marshall is working for the Big Evil Law Firm he said he would never work for-- Nicholson, Hewitt and West-- and shows up on his first day with a shiny briefcase-- that's completely empty. His buddy has candy bars in his, which is absolutely the smarter way to go. On the first day the candy bar -lovin' neighbor gets completely chewed out by the boss, “Artillery Arthur,” and Marshall just knows he's next. He's working on the “Tort Reform in the Second Circuit...”-- oh, hell, for the sake of us all he calls it the “Ninja Report.” And when Artillery Arthur shows up to ask—ok, yell at—Marshall about the Ninja Report, Marshall thinks he's gonna punch Arthur. But, because he's Marshall, he cries.
Yeah, he cries! And Lily, even though she knows her man is a weakling, is so starved from their lack of sex over the last few weeks that she hears phrases like “I feel castrated” and can only say to Marshall “You're so hot right now.” Everyone else, though, has other ideas. Robin, being Canadian and all, would present the boss with a gun and show him who's boss. Ted, being a loser, would try to come up with some Abraham Lincoln-esque speech on the fly, but of course, he can't. (Side note: 143 years ago today, Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. Never forget!) And Lily would use her training as a kindergarten teacher to teach the boss that respect, not yelling, is the way to go. Marshall thinks this is the way to be as well-- until Barney intervenes.
Barney catches up with Marshall in the diner, and convinces him that his Chain of Yelling-- or is it Circle of Yelling?-- theory is what works. Basically, if someone yells at you, you need to yell at someone else. Barney tries to make the waiter the victim, but the waiter, being a tough New Yorker, is having none of it. So Marshall yells at Barney instead, and it's only one short step before Marshall is yelling at... his boss. And getting himself fired.
Oh yeah, at the beginning of the episode Ted bought a car. Being a New Yorker, he had no need for one, but it makes a good place to chat about problems. Marshall and his giant hamburger jump in to chat about getting fired, then Robin and her ice cream cone join in, and then Barney, of course, shows up with a cigar. Ted, being the nancy that he is, flips out over the potential mess rather than actually listening to Marshall, but Marshall knows what he has to do. He has to admit to Lily that he's quit the job that's funding the renovations on their crazy apartment which, you remember, is crooked. But Ted, who seems to really want to hang on to that solo apartment, sells his car so Marshall and Lily can continue paying their mortgage. And Marshall and Lily, in turn, totally had sex in the backseat of Ted's car. Given how sad and sex-starved Lily was looking the whole episode, I say they earned it.
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