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Sean and Teddy get freaky this week and explore their darker sides, literally. In her bid to rid Dr. Mac of his grandpa, fuss-budget attitude, Teddy takes him to a dark restaurant where the patrons are served food they never see by waiters they only hear because the dining room has absolutely no light. The pitch black atmosphere is supposed to promote intimacy and sensuality. And it does. That is, until Sean’s cell phone rings. It’s Julia calling from New York, asking about child support and Annie’s missing sweater. Teddy doesn’t quite appreciate the mundane interrupting the insane, so she leaves Sean to make his own way out of darkness into the light.
This week’s patient would’ve been an especially cool idea if I hadn’t already watched the Discovery Health Channel special on the real-life “Tree Man.” Based on Indonesian fisherman Dede, Budi Sabri has a very unusual problem: his entire body is infested with overgrown warts, those on his hands and feet so large and elongated they’ve begun to resemble the roots of a tree. Sean is fascinated by the case but, always the pragmatist, he warns Mr. Sabri that several surgeries may be necessary and it isn’t guaranteed they’ll even be successful. Christian only cares about recouping some of their losses from treating the guy pro bono. However, Budi has simple expectations from the surgery and undying hope he’ll be able to one day lead a normal life.
Kimber returns to McNamara/Troy to re-inflate her toddler daughter’s thinning lips. Christian is thankful the first dose of collagen hasn’t done any damage and flat-out refuses to inject Jenna with any more. Kimber isn’t fazed; she just threatens to go to another doctor to get the job done. When they start to fight, Sean steps in. Bitchy bitch that she is, Kimber spills the beans about Christian’s involvement in Jenna’s new modeling success. Sean is disgusted and declares his friend morally bankrupt. Well, I guess with the economy as it is, that’s the best kind of bankrupt to be, right?
Teddy gives Sean a second chance and they make a lunch date. He meets her at her fabulous hilltop home where she invites him to share a glass of champagne in the bedroom – of course they decide to stay in to “eat.” Everything’s going great until Sean starts to hear noises. Doors opening and closing. Footsteps. Voices. Teddy, you’re getting robbed! Oh, no. It’s just a real estate agent with two prospective buyers for Mr. and Mrs. Kim’s home. Teddy thought it would be fun to break into an open house and have sex on a stranger’s Egyptian cotton bed sheets. Rather than freaking out when they’re interrupted mid coitus, Sean turns to the agent and makes an offer on the house.
Christian has been feeling great since he completed chemo and had his chest reconstruction surgery. He returns to his oncologist for a check-up and clean bill of health so he can get on with his life. However, his doctor delivers some terrible news instead: the cancer has returned and spread to the supraclavicular lymph nodes. The recommended treatment is experimental and will leave his bones extremely brittle, making him susceptible to painful fractures for the six months to a year he has left. What?!
Christian tries to reach out to Sean for comfort, but Sean doesn’t even let him get the words out; he doesn’t feel like dealing with Christian since finding out about Jenna’s collagen. Plus, he has another dangerous date with Teddy. The pair head out to the desert to meet with a shaman for a vision quest. The psychedelic effects of the ayahuasca tea they drink are wild, too wild for sex but just right for crazy hallucinations of Sean becoming a Tree Man!
With Sean rejecting him, his own body giving up on him, and no one to come home to, Christian contemplates suicide. (So, what happens to poor Wilbur and the dog? Well, Christian is a selfish narcissist, after all.) After pocketing some drugs from the office, he passes Budi’s recovery room. Now that the cutaneous horns have been shaved away from his hands and feet, he’s finding pleasure in learning how to walk again and hold a television remote control. He and Christian have a deep talk during which he shares his simple dream of knowing true love. This inspires Christian to put aside his death wish and make another, much more positive, decision.
Unlike Sean’s trip, Christian’s spiritual journey takes him back East to Miami where he finds Lizzy in the midst of a new job and new life. Wearing a casual, very down-played ensemble (looking like a cute, unemployed sax player – loved the hat), he gets down on one knee in the operating room where Liz is working and PROPOSES!
Liz accepts Christian’s marriage proposal and returns with him to Cali to start wedding preparations. But the pre-honeymoon doesn’t last when she discovers the missing drugs. At first she blames Teddy, but then Christian confesses he’s the one who stole the meds. Then he reveals his cancer prognosis. Realizing he only proposed so he wouldn’t die alone, Liz angrily throws the engagement ring in his face and storms out.
Back at the bachelor pad, Christian gives in to his destiny. If he’s going out, he’s going to celebrate; he breaks out the Cuban cigars and asks his friend to join him. Always the stick-in-the-mud, Sean warns him against what smoking can do to his already frail body. The guy’s already dying – give him a break! He finally lets up and gives Christian what he needs: a moment of camaraderie with the best friend he’s ever known and the reassurance that, no matter what, he will not die alone. Later, Liz offers the same comfort by agreeing, once again, to marry him, for better or worse. Maybe Budi can walk her down the aisle. Or maybe not since the warts are starting to rapidly grow back.
Sean proves too ultra-boring for Teddy who quickly dumps him after he refuses to suck nitrous oxide before sex (this chick is crazy; are we sure she’s a real doctor?), but the end of their relationship doesn’t last long. Here I was thinking this was a great way to get rid of her and make room for Lizzy again. Instead, Teddy and Seanie Bear kiss and make up, returning to their favorite dark restaurant for some midnight foreplay and amuse bouche, hold the amuse bouche.
Next Week: Christian prepares for his departure by hiring a new surgeon for the practice who’s as much a horndog as Dr. Troy ever was.
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