TV Recap: Project Runway - Grass Is Always Greener

Previously: At first glance, this batch of contestants seemed kind of meth-y and incompetent . At a grocery store challenge, only one designer actually used food; the others decided to make dresses out of tablecloths. Sigh. Here’s hoping that they get it together this week.

This week, the designers find out that their models will be their clients, and they will have to make them a cocktail dress. Sounds easy, right? Of course not! They are all shuttled to the design room where Tim tells them the rest of the challenge: They will be making their dresses out of green fabrics—not the color green, but “environmentally-conscious textiles.”

Leanne is immediately excited, saying that she already routinely uses green textiles. However, I’m sure some of that confidence was taken away when Tim told them that the models will be doing the shopping. In fact, the designers do a terrible job of concealing their horror at letting models do this job for them. Tim tells the models that they have $75 to spend and a half an hour to shop at Mood.

Tim returns and tells the designers that they have a half an hour to caucus with their models and until midnight tonight to complete their designs. The designers are pretty uniformly disgusted with what their models bring back. Disco Suede, however, manages to string together an intelligent thought when he muses that they’re probably not just meeting with their models to chit-chat; it’s also important to listen to what they like and what they want. I have a feeling this is going to be important later—especially since Stella immediately starts making the exact opposite of what her model says she wants.

When Tim comes by the design room for his inspection, he is greeted by a hot mess. He actually uses that phrase to describe Korto’s dress, but probably would have bit his tongue had he seen what Disco Suede had waiting for him—namely a bi-polar frenzy of fabric strips haphazardly placed on a mannequin. After going around the room, he tells the designers that the winner of this challenge won’t be receiving immunity. However, his or her dress will be produced and sold by bluefly.com.

The next morning, Tim comes in and further expresses his disappointment with the entire lot of designers. None of them are finished, and they’re making poor Tim “a wreck.” You don’t make Tim a wreck! That’s like kicking a puppy! Do your damn jobs, people.

Runway (check out all of the designs here ):

Natalie Portman is the guest judge because she has a fugly, way-overpriced vegan shoe collection.

Keith seems to have really taken the elementary school mantra, “Reduce, Reuse and Recycle” to heart. From what I can tell, he has taken the challenge to the next level by actually recycling the blinds from the apartments into a dress for his model.

Terri’s design is a tight, ruffley, belted navy blue number that really hugs the line between classy and trashy.

Wesley has a brown mini dress with a huge cutout in the back. The fit is really awkward and the color is pretty fug.

Jerell sends down a really trashy blue halter dress thing. I’m pretty sure about 10 inches of fabric was used.

Jennifer’s design is a really interesting, flowy orange and grey dress.

Daniel ended up with a really pretty black babydoll cocktail dress. It has a very Audrey Hepburn-esqu neckline and pockets. It’s adorable, but the fabric is super shiny and looks cheap.

Joe has the same brown fabric as Wesley, and his dress looks like something from Charlotte Ruse. Bascially, like something you could get at the mall for $19.99.

Disco Suede’s dress isn’t quite as hideous as one would think. It’s still insane and impossible to actually wear in public, but it has a point of view, and I really think the judges are going to go for its originality.

Kenley used the champagne fabric to create a very classy, form-fitting dress. It has a huge Christian Siriano-like collar that I just find distracting, though.

Kelli’s design is kind of a hot mess. The back has interesting cutouts, but the front looks like a patchwork mess.

Leanne also has the brown fabric and used it to create a very short, very busy dress. It’s kind of eh.

Stella ended up with a one-sleeved skanky mini dress made out of the champagne silk that we’ve seen on a few other models.

Blayne designed a hot pink and black crazy mindress.

Emily made a really cute babydoll dress, but she ran out of fabric, so it’s awkwardly short.

Korto’s dress looks inside-out, but has a very nice fit.

Judging:

Heidi tells Keith, Terri, Jerell, Jennifer, Daniel, Joe, Kelli, Blayne and Emily to step forward. They are safe. That leaves six remaining designers with the highest and lowest scores.

Nina really enjoys the silhouette of Kenley’s dress and Natalie says it stands out. Wesley automatically goes into defensive mode and the judges tell him that the seam and the fit don’t quite work. Michael, surprisingly, likes Stella’s trashy lacing detail and Nina says she is much improved from last time. Natalie also thinks that Korto’s dress looks inside out and Michael points out that curvy girls don’t want fins off their butt. Truth. Natalie is in love with Disco Suede’s crazy dress. She’s actually downright effusive in her praise and the other judges like it as well. Leanne’s model throws her under the bus when she says that the dress isn’t what she pictured. Natalie says it looks like Peter Pan and Michael says it’s too busy.

After deliberations, Heidi calls everybody back to the runway. Stella is in and Disco Suede is the winner! I think it’s hilarious that people can theoretically purchase this dress online. I really want to know who will and how much it will cost. As ridiculous of a person as he is, I do agree with this decision. His dress was crazy, but he seemed to put more thought into this challenge than any of the other designers.

Heidi tells Kenley and a very shaken Korto that they are in. It’s down to Leanne and Wesley. Heidi tells Wesley that his design was unflattering and his fit was poor. While Leanne had too many ideas. Leanne is safe, while Wesley is out. I’m sad to see Wesley go. He didn’t make much sense to me at all. He looks like he was on his way to a clam bake and stumbled into Parson’s.

Next Week: Field trip! I don’t know where it is, but it involves Times Square and ponchos. Oh noes! Tim threatens to jump in front of a taxi after he slits his wrists! Don’t hurt Tim!