VH1, Country Music Television Frantically Search For Rednecks

Do you live below the Mason-Dixon line? Is your moustache wild and unkempt? Have you seen Lynyrd Skynyrd in concert more than four times? Do you hate got-damn liberals? Are you already on your third Pabst Blue Ribbon? If you have given an affirmative answer to more than one of the previous questions, VH1 and Country Music Television may be able to exploit you.

A few years ago, VH1 discovered that throwing a bunch of loose women into a house with Flavor Flav would produce better ratings than critically acclaimed rock documentaries like ‘Behind The Music.’ Within a few months, VH1 essentially canceled all of their programming and began throwing money at quasi celebrities like Danny Bonaduce, Hulk Hogan, and Tom Sizemore. Ratings rose just as quickly as standards dropped. In possibly VH1’s most outrageous move yet, they have banded together with Country Music Television to begin casting a new reality show called ‘My Big Redneck Wedding.’

This show is nothing more than a sad attempt at ratings that will end up confirming long held stereotypes. But so what? Cultural perceptions about the South aren’t going to change anytime soon; and to be perfectly honest with you, the idea of watching someone from Alabama get drunk, hate on Jeff Gordon, rock out to the Allman Brothers, and marry his high school sweetheart all in one episode is extremely appealing. Besides, it’s about time someone other than super rich teenagers and celebrities got their own reality shows.

If you fit any of the above criteria and have interest in auditioning, visit VH1 for more information.

Mack Rawden
Editor In Chief

Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, a great wrestling promo and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.