GAMING BLEND

Elder Scrolls Online Beta Preview: The Lawyer-Friendly Version

By Pete Haas 2013-11-23 14:32:18 discussion comments
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This weekend ZeniMax is hosting a beta test for Elder Scrolls Online. You might be wondering why there are no previews to be found. It's because the testers aren't allowed to say anything.

The Nondisclosure Agreement (NDA) for ESO's beta forbids participants from releasing any screenshots or video from the test. They also can't release any information about the "software, software code, designs, graphics, rules, playing strategies, artwork, visual depictions, plot, theme, settings, characters, characterizations, skills, emails, screenshots, marketing emails, marketing and promotional plans, current, future or proposed products or services of ZeniMax, written or printed documents, announcements or prereleases, product samples, artwork, graphics, promotional and/or marketing items), the Beta Trial forums and other private ZeniMax forums, business and/or trade secrets, testing protocols, processes, and standards relating to the Game and/or associated products or services of ZeniMax."

In fact, testers can't even reveal that they're part of the beta test without potential legal consequences. Asking a gamer to describe the beta version of Elder Scrolls Online without including any information about the game AND without revealing that they're in the beta test in the first place sounds impossible. However, it's not impossible for Umberto Fakeington III, our resident imaginary writer. Take it away, Umberto!
Thanks, Pete. I logged a few hours of Elder Scrolls Online this weekend and have nothing but ______ things to say. As the first project from an untested studio, ESO has its share of skeptics. I can say with absolutely certainty that the doubters were proven _______.

It all begins with the character creator. Within minutes I was able to build a _______ ________ that's every bit as detailed and lifelike as my character from ___________. There's a long list of _______ and _______ to choose from in building a character. I was never _______ with the myriad of options, though.

My newly minted character awoke in a ______ __________. He was approached by a _________ who __________ _____________ __________ __________. Then the _______ and we ________ alongside __________ ________. I was immediately ________ by the _________. This is storytelling at its __________.

But what really struck me was how ________ everything was. _______ _____ the _________ _________ and ___________. _________ _________ __________ but __________ ______. Clearly _______ _______ ______ _______. ______ _____ ______ _______ __ ________. _______ _______ ______, you know?

_____ __ ________ ____ ______________. ____ _____ _____? _____. ____________ ___ _______ _________. ______ can of Old Milwaukee _________ _____. ______ ____ ____ ______, _______. _____ __ _______ - ___ ______ _____. ____ ___ _____. Frankly: ____.

______ ______ ____ __________ haberdasher __________ __ _____. _____ ______ __ _______ _____ ______ _____ ______ ___ __________. ___ ____ _______. As Mark Twain once said ____ ______ ___________. strumpet ______ _____ __ _______. _____ _________ ____ _______________. ______ ___ ___________ ____. ____ _______ __ _______!

It all reminds me of ___________ ______. _____________ _______ ______ ______ ___. __________ ___ ______ ____?! _____ ____ ___ ____________. _______. ____ __________ __ ________. _____ _____ ______. Long story short, I'm never eating broccolini again.

You can relive my journey through ______ in the screenshots below. Your own adventure will begin in ______ when ESO launches on the PC, Mac, PS4 and ____.
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