Forest Whitaker is using his Oscar to do exactly what I’d do if I had one: Get a part in a movie where Jessica Biel might play a stripper. The film is Powder Blue and Variety broke the story that Biel and Whitaker are on board.

Powder Blue is a drama about a mortician, an ex-con, a suicidal ex-priest, and a stripper brought together on Christmas Eve by a mixture of circumstances. We don’t know which characters Whitaker and Biel are playing, but I’m guess stripper for Biel based purely on my desire to see her on a pole. Hey I’m a guy. We’re disgusting. You’ve probably noticed I included a picture of Jessica Biel with this story instead of Whitaker. See what I mean? We’re disgusting. I’m a self-loathing heterosexual.

Movies like this rarely end up being any good for the audience, but serious actors seem to eat up opportunities like this one. I guess there’s just something attractive about playing a standard character archetype forced to deal with dissimilar personalities. The plot of this one reminds me of the Marilyn Monroe movie Bus Stop, which may literally have been the worst work of her career. That’s saying something, since she was rather consistently a pretty terrible actress.