Twentieth Century Fox is -- incredibly -- bringing us Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son just in time for Father’s Day. While I applaud the company for coming up with a vaguely clever marketing scheme, I can’t imagine it working. Let’s just go ahead and use a Gary Busey-esque Celebrity Apprentice storytelling technique to explain why this won’t work.

Son: Daddy, I brought you something. Happy Fathers Day!

Dad: (Gruffly) Thanks, son. Looks like a DVD. But what could this be?

Son: Open it!

Dad: It's a DVD. Of the new Martin Lawrence movie, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, which tells the tale of a father and his male kid cross-dressing in a school full of hot women to save the day. The dad even gets to wear a fatsuit, to set an example. I could cry, this is such a goddamned emotional gift, son. I really don’t know how to thank you.

To make the most profit, they should’ve released this monstrosity of a movie as quickly as possible to get a quick DVD turnover. Unfortunately, I’m not paid by Fox for my good opinions, so Like Father, Like Son won’t be hitting DVD or “Motherload” formats (yes, it’s that sort of movie) until June 14th.

If you are interested in waiting until June to purchase this film, I’d suggest the Motherload edition. Fox has only announced an extended version of the film, a gag reel, commentary, and deleted scenes for the DVD release, but the Motherload will come with a Blu-Ray, DVD, and digital copy, as well as the extended cut of the film. Also included with the Motherload edition will be the DVD extras, several featurettes, and even two music videos for “Baby You Know” and “Lyrical Miracle.”

I hope next year Martin Lawrence will partner with RuPaul for a Father’s Day release. That would be something worth seeing.

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