Don't Have Internet For Xbox One Day One Patch? Take It To Your Friend's House, Says Microsoft

Don Mattrick, why did you leave? It appears your advice isn't any worse than everyone else working at Microsoft.

When the former executive at Microsoft suggested that people without broadband stick with an Xbox 360 instead of getting an Xbox One, everyone laughed angrily. Well, Microsoft has an equally laughable suggestion for those of you who pick up an Xbox One, but may not have an internet-ready connection available.

GameZone picked up on one of the most ridiculous suggestions from Microsoft's official Xbox support, when a user took to the forums to ask about applying the day-one patch without an internet connection. Before getting to the good stuff, though... just for context, Microsoft previously released the day-one patch as PC-ready downloads, as reported by IGN. Users without broadband could get the patches and apply them via USB sticks.

For those of you asking the obvious question: “If they don't have broadband at home how would they get the offline patch?” Well technically you could download the patch at work, have someone download the patch for you and load it on a USB stick or potentially have a service rep at a retailer download the patch to a USB stick for you. Heck, you could even use your mobile phone to get the patch and copy it over to your PC and load it onto a NTSF compatible USB stick. No matter how you cut the custard, the offline patch made available via file download offered users plenty of options for patching their Xbox One.

Being able to download the patch remotely, or independently from hooking up your system to the net, makes it convenient for some people who don't have broadband. And before you say it... more than 30% of Americans don't have broadband, as reported by Digital Trends. Reputation management trollism averted.

Anyway, one user asked on the Xbox support forums how to get the offline patch, since he would be without internet for a time and he was planning on getting an Xbox One. Here's what the support representative named “Mister Ohnaka” had to say...

“That is correct, we pulled the "Emergency Online Update.For transparency, we have stated that the Xbox One will need an internet connection to install the 'Day One' update, so even if the emergency update were available, you would still need to connect your console to the internet to successfully install the full update and use the console.If you will not have a connection available, I would suggest taking your console to a friends house or something, and installing the update their.Hope that clears things up, and let us know if you have anymore questions.

[Grammar Nazism activated: there, not their. Grammar Nazism deactivated.]

This is a pathetic excuse from Microsoft. Essentially, if you or someone you know doesn't have broadband (for whatever reason) an Xbox One is a giant $500 brick. It's something you really need to consider before taking the plunge on this device.

We contacted our own MS-appointed press representative about the issue (and yeah, they assign various sites reps, because they're nice like that) and he's out of town enjoying the Xbox One launch parties, so I don't think he'll be getting back to us anytime soon.

So what do you do if you're broadband-free? What do you do if your internet is down or going down or won't be available? Well, buy a PlayStation 4 (and hope it's not one made by Foxconn).

It's funny that while Sony is dealing with tough allegations over a small percentage of PS4 units tied to a humans right issue involving Foxconn, Microsoft's biggest fight seems to be with their own ineptitude.

As of right now, if you don't have broadband your have an Xbrick on your hands. So for offline gamers, you Xboners are basically Xboned.

Will Usher

Staff Writer at CinemaBlend.