What? Valentines Day? Again?! Wasn’t there one, like, just last year? Well, yeah, there actually was, but that doesn’t mean you have to get all huffy about it. And it also doesn’t mean that you have to put down your joystick (Ah hur, hur, hur, innuendo), just because your girlfriend/mistress/concubine wants to spend some quality time with you on February 14th. Recent studies, mostly ones I just made up, say that girls actually LIKE to play video games. Even better, many of them would actually like to play them with YOU. That is, of course, if you’re not a big jerk about it and don’t make an effort to beat them every chance you get. So below are great seven games that like girls, too. Enjoy.
Sure, those green and blue dragons are cute (Better known to Nintendo nerds as Bub and Bob from Bubble Bobble fame) but it’s the geometry that girls like...okay, and the cuteness I guess, too. Aiming that crane, bouncing those bubbles off the walls, and hearing those balloons pop is quite possibly the most therapeutic thing in the world next to listening to Yanni at the hair salon. Plus, there’s the whole skill-level thing to it, too, as nailing some of those one hit, stage clearering bubbles, is the perfect way to relieve some stress after a long, hard day’s work at the office. Play this one after a candle-light dinner and a long walk on the beach with her. Not because it’s a romantic game or anything like that, but because, well, who doesn’t like candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach?
2. Katamari Demacy—PS2
The story, the music, the fact that a rainbow comes out of the King of All Cosmos mouth—what’s NOT to like about this game? But females, especially my girlfriend, love how easy and intuitive it is to play. Pushing two analog sticks in one direction is pretty damn easy compared to the fifty or so commands that go into making King pull off a ten hit combo in Tekken. Oh, and did I mention the music? No other game has as snazzy a soundtrack as this little baby does. I want to wad you up into my life, TOO, Katamari Demacy.
3. Mario Kart DS—Nintendo DS
Co-op play has never been simpler than with this needs-only-one-game-to-play-together title. The DS is the perfect little system for couples, being that you can usually play against or with each other easily if that’s your intention. And how can you go wrong with Mario Kart? Seriously, how can you? This particular entry is one of the best in the series since it uses its hand-held status effectively, fitting smaller, less intricate stages on the portable screen to make up for some of the system’s inadequacies. Plus, your lady companion will never feel like a loser just because she’s fallen to last place. As with all Mario Kart titles, the best weapons are reserved for those in last place, making her feel like she ALWAYS has a shot at robbing you of that first place title with a well-used lightning bolt or a blue shell. Just make sure you don’t have a hissy fit when she beats you. That won’t look good on your character. Trust me, I know…
4. Cooking Mama—Nintendo DS
Here’s another DS game some girls will gush over. It provides all the fun of cooking but none of the scalding burns from spitting grease fires or dipping your hair too close to the stove. Plus, the protagonist is ever so cute. It’s the Nintendogs of cooking, if there ever was such a thing.
5. Guitar Hero/Rock Band—Multi-platform
Girls want to rock out, too. And nothing says rawk better than these two music themed games. I would’ve recommended Rock Band over Guitar Hero maybe a year ago, but now that G Hero has jumped on the multi-instrument bandwagon, either or will suffice for making sweet music all night long. Oh, and mad props to any guy who’s willing to do all the singing while she does the shredding or percussion work. Don’t forget the cowbell, love birds.
6. Tekken 5—PS2
Wha, wha, wha, what? Okay, this one may be a bit of a gamble, but I’ve actually seen quite a few women vying to be the king (Er, sorry, queen) of the Iron Fist Tournament. Maybe, and I don’t mean to offend you Tekken-philes, but it’s true, what newcomers and females like most about the series is that you can button-mash like crazy and still feel like you're accomplishing something. Or maybe they just like the crazy assortment of characters—Panda, anyone? Whatever it is, any female I’ve ever introduced to Tekken has fallen head over heels in love with the game and have gotten deeply involved in its frenzied gameplay and sometimes lopsided matches. If you’re going to start her off with any fighting game, this might be the one. Just make sure you don’t start her off with DOA 4. They might not appreciate the, um, physics (think upper body….female anatomy), of the game.
And when all else fails, you always have Tetris. Good luck out there, Casanovas.