Stupid Fanboys Petition Microsoft To Bring Back Xbox One's DRM

Sometimes... sometimes it feels like we're all moving out of the world backwards. This is one of those times. A group of people using the tidbits of brains floating around in the pink slush from perpetual consumption of MTV, have come together to use said tidbits in order to provoke Microsoft into reinstating the digital rights management system everyone with common sense tried getting removed from the Xbox One.

While I would love to believe this is a troll, a joke or some pretentious means of stirring the pot, the better half of me has resolved to simply believe that the stupidest of stupid fanboys have joined their collective single-digit I.Q. together in order to formulate this poorly conceived plot that's been pasted together as a completely misinformed protest against their very own rights as consumers.

Using to put their point across, a David Fontenot leads the charge with a petition description so ridiculous that it just seems surreal...

This was to be the future of entertainment. A new wave of gaming where you could buy games digitally, then trade, share or sell those digital licenses. Essentially, it was Steam for Xbox. But consumers were uninformed, and railed against it, and it was taken away because Sony took advantage of consumers uncertainty.We want this back. It can't be all or nothing, there must be a compromise.

I could easily believe that maybe this is just an elaborate troll if there was some sense of irony about it – if perhaps there was a more stilted tone to the plea instead of one that comes across as at least sincere and coherent. Maybe if the signatures required was a value set to 180 instead of 200, or maybe if this Fontenot didn't try to use Steam as an example – and by all means you cannot use Steam as a comparison to the Xbox One's former DRM policies for obvious reasons (and for those not bothered to click the link, it's because Microsoft doesn't do half of what Valve does to give back to the gaming community).

SheAttack, however, takes a light approach to the whole scenario, noting how hilarious the entire thing is and how it's probably just a ruse to get a chuckle out of people, while others believe this was a reverse marketing strategy from PlayStation fanboys to rile up the community so much that it makes the Xbox fanboys look inept and devolved. Guerrilla marketing at its worst.

I suppose that picture of Don Mattrick – the former golden boy for the Xbox brand – about to break out tears lends itself to the potentially satirical nature of the petition. However, I just don't know.

I imagine if someone like this tried explaining – with actual spoken words – why restricting and bringing about digital walls to the gaming space is good for gaming, we would all just laugh and assume they had gone in for surgery and mistakenly asked the surgeon to put their rectum rims around their mouth so that every time they speak they create an air of conversation worthy of being called a cesspool. Yet, perhaps this David fellow really does believe that bringing back the DRM will somehow help?

Only being able to trade digital games once throughout their lifespan is asinine, and flies against services like Greenman Gaming where you can trade indefinitely and also you're free to do with the game what you want. That's not to mention that under Microsoft's previous DRM regime, game rental services and mom and pop retailers would no longer be able to sell pre-owned or used games.

Furthermore, there's also nothing stopping Microsoft from making the digital rental service eligible right now for the Xbox 360... if they so desired. Obviously consumer convenience is not at the forefront of their endeavors, otherwise people would be buying, selling and trading digital games right now. The technology is there and the tools are readily available, Microsoft just doesn't want to make it that easy.

In the end, I'm hoping this fringe case of going full retard will stay contained to the outer corners of fanboytopia. We really don't need members of the Doritocracy helping Microsoft push the influence of a walled-garden environment for our home consoles. It's bad enough that they can just flip a switch and turn it all back on... the last thing they need are fanboys encouraging them to do so, especially after all of Neogaf's hard work.

Will Usher

Staff Writer at CinemaBlend.