Lara Croft approaches the pile of sticks and leafs she's gathered. She takes out a box of matches, realizing there's only one left. After taking a deep breath, she strikes the match along the box's rough edge, producing a flame. She quickly puts the lit match underneath the pile, causing the pile of wood to light up.
She sighs with relief. She unhooks the walkie-talkie from her hip and presses the "talk button."
LARA: Is there anyone out there? This is Lara Croft of the Endurance. We've been shipwrecked on an island in the Dragon's Triangle. A man just tried to -
The walkie-talkie crackles. A voice, laced with static at first, suddenly becomes crystal-clear.
PETE: Lara, is that you? It's Pete Haas, from Gaming Blend. Look, I've got a problem I need your help with.
LARA: Oh thank god. We need help. You have to -
PETE: Here's my problem: I reviewed Tomb Raider like 11 months ago and now I have to review it again for next-gen consoles. Everyone's wondering whether they're worth buying on PS4 and Xbox One.
LARA: Please, you have to help us!
PETE: Yeah, that's exactly what they're saying: "help us decide whether to buy the next-gen version." Which puts me in a bind. On the one hand, I really enjoyed Tomb Raider. The platforming's been dumbed down from the previous Tomb Raider chapters but this game's still one of the best shooters from 2013.
LARA: I just pulled a spike out of my stomach.
PETE: And the story held my interest the whole time, even if half of the dialogue is made up of you screaming and grunting.
LARA: (clutching her side) Urggh!
A couple seconds of silence pass.
PETE: Plus, the libraries for the PS4 and Xbox One are so puny these days that Tomb Raider's one of the best games available for each.
LARA: (sighs) So what's the problem, then?
PETE: The thing is, anyone who bought a PS4 or Xbox One near launch is the sort of person who also owns a PS3, Xbox 360 or gaming PC. They could just get the Game of the Year Edition on one of those platforms for $30 instead of spending $60 on the "Definitive Edition." I mean, what are you getting for the extra $30? Reassurance that your new console isn't just a glorified Netflix machine? Slightly better foliage? More detailed character hair? It's not like they improved the crappy multiplayer at all.
LARA: I'm so cold.
PETE: That's not to say that the game isn't worth $60 on every platform. It totally is. But it's also available for $30. And frankly, comparing the Xbox 360 and Xbox One versions just made me remember how gorgeous the game was on current-gen. It's a great game no matter what systems you're playing it on.
LARA: Someone once told me, "In our darkest moments, when life flashes before us, we find something; Something that keeps us going. Something that pushes us."
PETE: Huh. Who said that?
LARA: I did like fifteen minutes ago. No one was there to hear it, though.
PETE: Cool. Well, it sounds like you're busy. Good luck overcoming adversity and wolves.
PETE: Crap, sorry for the spoiler. Try to act surprised when they attack you.
LARA: Do you know what you're going to do?
PETE: Probably just link my old review and a graphics comparison video.
Platforms: Xbox One, PS4, Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Developer: Crystal Dynamics
Publisher: Square Enix