Unless You Are My Father's Age, I Doubt You've Ever Heard Of This Movie Written By Dr. Seuss. Yeah, It's Weird

Here's the thing about Dr. Seuss (which is pronounced “Zoice,” but some of y'all aren’t ready to have that conversation yet): since so many of us grew up having his books read to us, we don't often think about how OLD some of these stories are.

The Cat in the Hat, which is getting a reboot (even though I'm actually a fan of the absolutely unhinged one starring Mike Myers) was first published in 1957. How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (can you believe the Jim Carrey adaptation came out 25 years ago?!) also came out in ‘57, and both of them are incredibly well known.

However, what's not as well known (unless you're in your 70s like my father) is the movie The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. It was written by Dr. Seuss and came out in 1953. And yes, it’s just as weird as it sounds.

The Story Is About A Boy Who Has Nightmares About His Piano Teacher

Not too long ago, I wrote about what I had originally thought was the strangest kids’ film that I had ever seen, that being 1985’s Return to Oz. Well, I think I have finally watched a movie that might have it beat, as The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T is by far the weirdest, most dream-like children’s film I think I’ve ever seen (and this is coming from the guy who actually thought he dreamt up 2009’s Where the Wild Things Are).

The story concerns a boy named Bartholomew (Tommy Rettig) who has spacy dreams about his piano teacher, Dr. Terwilliker (Hans Conried). Bart loves his widowed mother, Heloise (Mary Healy), but he can’t stand his piano teacher, who is constantly ordering him to practice, practice, practice! The only solace Bart has is a plumber who comes to their house named August (Peter Lind Hayes). Bart complains to him about his teacher being an absolute monster, and August sympathizes.

Well, after a lesson, Bart falls asleep, and that’s when the movie gets really bizarre. In a lot of ways, his dream world is like The Wizard of Oz, in that the people in the real world appear in his dream world. Terwilliker is like a tyrant, and he wants to force Bart and 499 other boys to play on a giant piano (hence the 5000 fingers). Luckily, Bart escapes, and he and his plumber friend go on an esoteric, musical adventure together.

To be honest, a lot of the film feels like one musical set piece after another (sort of like another wacky - and scary - musical film, Moonwalker), but it’s also so strange that you can’t take your eyes away, which I’ll talk about next.

The Visuals Do Indeed Look Straight Out Of A Dr. Seuss Book

Now, the only reason I watched this movie in the first place is because I was scrolling through TCM for another upcoming movie and saw this film along the way. Well, when I started watching it, I was pretty shocked to find that it was written by Dr. Seuss. But honestly, if I hadn’t seen his name in the credits, I likely would have figured it out eventually since it has his style all over it.

The film opens with Bart wearing a red and white striped shirt, and a blue hat on his head with a yellow hand. He runs in fear from men in dark suits who carry enormous nets, and it definitely looks like something you’d see in a book like, Oh, the Thinks You Can Think! (“And what would you do if you met a Jibboo?”).

The whole dream world, which comprises most of the film’s 92-minute runtime, is like this. For example, two men have one long, connected beard, Dr. T tries on a wide assortment of garish clothes, and the giant piano at the end is seriously something right out of Dr. Seuss’s imagination.

Now, the film wasn’t directed by Dr. Seuss or anything like that - it was actually directed by Roy Rowland. However, it’s said that its producer, Stanley Kramer, also directed scenes - but Seuss had to have been consulted quite a bit, because this looks like one of his books put right to the screen. It’s a complete visual feast and a treat for the eyes.

It's Also A Musical With Really Bizarre Lyrics

Today, I’ve learned that this movie is a bit of a cult classic, but back when it was first released, it was apparently an absolute bomb, and I’m not entirely sure why. The ‘50s was overstuffed with musicals, like Singin’ in the Rain, Guys and Dolls and The Band Wagon, but that might be why this movie flopped. Because in comparison, The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T is just so weird.

Really, besides the odd visuals, it’s the lyrics and music that set it apart. For example, the lyrics to “Do-Me-Do-Duds” has Dr. T singing about “porcupine quills,” and his "purple nylon girdle” as stiff-lipped men adorn him with a flashy wardrobe. In a song leading to a dungeon, a scary man with a black hood and huge eyes sings about how the jewelry department is on the second floor.

Then it leads to one of the most expressive and enticing scenes in the entire movie with the Dungeon Ballet, which is a true spectacle. People play all manner of instruments (with some people even dressed as instruments), and it just makes you love Dr. Seuss even more if you’re already a fan of his work.

It’s legitimately a live-action Dr. Seuss book, which leads me to my last point.

If You Dig Dr. Seuss, This Is A Really Interesting Watch

Most people would likely say that the best Dr. Seuss movies are How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (any version, really) or maybe Horton Hears a Who!, but I’m definitely going with The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T (which one of our other writers once called the third best Dr. Seuss movie).

However, I think it’s his best since it’s an original story and totally separate from the adaptations of his books. It’s a movie that is distinctly Dr. Seuss - from the dialogue to even the visuals - but I can’t judge it against anything else because there is nothing else to compare it to.

It’s a wholly unique experience, and if you love Dr. Seuss, then you owe it to yourself to watch this rather obscure gem. But what do you think? Have you already seen The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!