2007 MTV Movie Award Winners

The 2007 MTV Movie Awards happened this weekend, and as usual the awards don’t matter, it’s just for fun… and advertising revenue. MTV earned a lot of advertising revenue this time, with a good portion of the show dedicated to selling out in creative and unusual ways. That’s MTV for you. Music Television has long since been replaced by product promotion television.

Sarah Silverman handled the evening’s hosting duties and when she was on stage at least, the awards earned at least a little credibility… if not laughs. I’ve never been a big fan of Sarah’s but you’ve got to give her credit for the downright vicious way she mocked the awards and the celebrities, even when the celebrities she was attacking were sitting right there in the front row. The girl’s got serious balls.

Aside from Sarah, the night’s highlights boiled down to Jack Nicholson accepting an award shitfaced, Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen taking a kiss much, much too far, and a failed attempt by Johnny Depp to single-handedly bring back grunge. The evening’s lowest lowlights included a sad and annoying attempt by MTV to bring fans into the production of the show by playing and awarding mostly lame fan-generated spoofs and by allowing a fan to present an award via grainy web-cam and fuzzy internet microphone. Other sucking came from the likes of Dane Cook, whose repeated declaration of “we’re havin a party” sounded almost like a desperate plea for help.

The night’s biggest winner, aside from the evening advertisers, was Pirates of the Caribbean, with two wins for Dead Man’s Chest. Sacha Baron Cohen also managed to get up on stage twice. Once for Best Kiss with Will Ferrell, and then again for Best Comedic Performance.

More important than who one though, was my personal revelation that the MTV Movie Awards are vastly improved by Tivo and the fast forward button. Despite their insistence on pretending otherwise, it’s not like it really airs live anyway. Or, perhaps even better you can watch the MTV Movie Awards the way they were really intended to be seen, online in short spastic clips, over at MTV here.

Here’s a full list of all the 2007 MTV Movie Award nominees with the winners in bold.

Best Movie

300

Blades of Glory

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Little Miss Sunshine

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Best Performance

Gerard Butler, 300

Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Keira Knightley, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls

Beyoncé Knowles, Dreamgirls

Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness

Breakthrough Performance

Emily Blunt, The Devil Wears Prada

Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine

Lena Headey, 300

Columbus Short, Stomp the Yard

Jaden Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness

Justin Timberlake, Alpha Dog

Best Comedic Performance

Emily Blunt, The Devil Wears Prada

Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Will Ferrell, Blades of Glory

Adam Sandler, Click

Ben Stiller, Night at the Museum

Best Kiss

Cameron Diaz & Jude Law, The Holiday

Will Ferrell & Sacha Baron Cohen, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Columbus Short & Meagan Good, Stomp The Yard

Mark Wahlberg & Elizabeth Banks, Invincible

Marlon Wayans & Brittany Daniel, Little Man

Best Villain

Tobin Bell, Saw III

Jack Nicholson, The Departed

Bill Nighy, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Rodrigo Santoro, 300

Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada

Best Fight

Jack Black & Héctor Jiménez vs. Los Duendes (Wrestling Match), Nacho Libre

Gerard Butler vs. The Uber Immortal (The Spartan/Persian Battle), 300

Sacha Baron Cohen vs. Ken Davitian (Naked Wrestle Fight), Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Will Ferrell vs. Jon Heder (Ice Rink Fight), Blades of Glory

Uma Thurman vs. Anna Faris (Super Girl Fight), My Super Ex-Girlfriend

Best Summer Movie You Haven't Seen Yet

Evan Almighty (June 22)

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

The Simspons Movie

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (June 15)

Hairspray (July 20)

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (July 13)

Rush Hour 3 (August 10)

Transformers (July 4)

MTV Generation Award

Mike Myers

Josh Tyler