April Fool: Your Guide To Holiday Lies 2009

Grab a calendar and check the date. It’s April 1st, commonly known as April Fool’s but best remembered as the date you probably shouldn’t believe anything you read. We’re only a few hours into the prankster’s holiday and already the web is full to the brim with wacky fake stories and ridiculous pranks. Of course that’s the kind of prank we absolutely would never ever, pull on any of you. Unless of course, it really made us laugh.

Instead of inventing my own pranks, I’m going to do my best to provide all of you with a public service, and help sort through the April Fools foolishness being spread around the web. Below is a listing of all the April 1st entertainment stories which I’ve confirmed to be April Fools prankery. If you’re wondering whether that story you’ve just read about Tom Cruise starring in Brokeback Mountain 2 is real or not, check here and see if we have it on the naughty list. I’ll keep updating this page with pranks as we find them. I’ll keep updating it throughout the day, so check back regularly and if you find some that I’ve missed, send them in!

Widescreen-Vision: First Hobbit Teaser Poster

For some reason the image of a giant hobbit toe pointing at the One Ring makes me laugh. Always happy to see someone go through the effort with photoshop. That's funny even in German.

ScreenRant: Robert Pattinson Leaving New Moon, Production Halted

Vic over at ScreenRant actually doesn’t go out of his way to let everyone in on the joke. But seriously, there’s no way Robert Pattinson is leaving the Twilight franchise. He’s Robert Pattinson! What else is he going to do?

JoBlo: Next Batman Titled Battle For Gotham And Starring A CGI Heath Ledger

Even though it’s definitely an April Fool’s joke, it’s no less believable than any of the other wild rumors we’ve heard swirling around the project. Seriously, this is at least as believable as Cher as Catwoman, and much like Cher as Catwoman, it’s not true.

Moviehole: Diesel Cancels Promo Tour For Movie

Clint over at Moviehole got pretty clever this year. The title of his story doesn’t actually sound very exciting. Instead he’s burying his lead, which is that Vin Diesel was expected to cameo in Twilight. Burying the lead is definitely not something you’d normally do in a silly April Fool’s story, which makes the whole thing seem sort of real, until you click on the link at the bottom.

Moviehole: Johnny Depp Is Freddy Krueger

Clint doubled up on the April Fool’s funnies again this year. Of his two stories, this one is the most easy to spot, but also the most fun. Come on, you know Johnny Depp would be a great Freddy Krueger! He’s Johnny freakin Depp. He can do anything.

Moviehole: Three Men And A Baby Remake

Scratch that, Clint tripled up on the April Foolin action! This one is just crazy enough to believe. Jonah Hill, Zac Efron, and Justin Long as the new three men? I am so there. Wait, it’s a prank isn’t it? Depressed.

Moviehole: Seth Rogen In Talks for Galactica Film

Wait, another one from Moviehole? Seriously guys, how many Mohitos have you had today? Ok so this is fake, but can’t you just see Seth Rogen as Chief Tyrol? Come on, that totally works.

GFR: Tron Will Fight Skynet In Tron 2

This one sort of speaks for itself. Different studios, never going to happen. But imagine if it did! Termiantor’s Skynet versus Tron! Now that’s a movie I’m interested in. Not happening, but a geek can dream.

Cinematical: Shocking Iron Man 2 Teaser Debuts Online

They’ve had the good sense to mention ShoWest in the title, which instantly makes this believable since ShoWest is happening right now and there’s been a flood of stories exactly like this one coming out all week. One difference though, those are legit. This one isn’t. Pranked.

LostFanz: Lost Cancelled Due To Recession

There’ve been more than a few nights, after sitting through another plot hinging entirely on characters not answering or asking extremely obvious questions that I’d have liked to see Lost become the first television victim of the recession. But not happening. There’s a lot of fat to trim before ABC gets to Lost.

CB: Transformers / GI Joe Crossover Planned

Oh this one isn’t fake. Sorry, why do I have it in here? Totally true.

ComicBookMovie: Captain America Cameo In Wolverine!

It’s one thing to write up a fake story, but you’ve got to respect the site that goes through the trouble to photoshop a fake pic to prove their point. CBM has managed to squeeze Captain America into a still from Wolverine. Well done guys! It’s just crazy enough not to be true.

RopeOfSilicon: Robert Pattinson To Quit Acting In 2010

The undeserved popularity of Twilight has apparently, made Robert Pattinson a popular target of April Fool’s Day prankers. He’s not quitting acting! He’s just getting going. Though the thought of him having a singing career as suggested here, is the one thing that may actually be worse than his acting. So thank god it’s a fake.

007James: Daniel Craig Quits Bond

Daniel Craig may actually at some point quit Bond, there’s no guarantee he’ll do the next movie. But this story isn’t a real confirmation that he’s out. Just fun and games.

Ex Astris Scientia: Shatner Will Appear In Star Trek As Captain April

Most of you aren’t Star Trek nerds, so you have no idea who Captain April is. I am such a nerd, so I know that it would make no sense for Bill to play a guy who captained the Enterprise while Captain Kirk is still in diapers. Plus, Abrams has said it about a million times by now: He’s not in the new Star Trek!. Get over it. Enjoy some Nimoy.

Slashfilm: WB Announces New Matrix Sequel: The Matrix Resurrection

The Wachowski’s did sort of seem to be setting up a Jesus thing with Neo at the end of The Matrix, but even if they wanted to continue the story and resurrect Neo as a Christ figure, I’m pretty sure no studio would want to fund it. They have DVD players. They can watch The Matrix Revolutions and see how awful it is any time they need a reminder.

Bloody-Digusting: Weinstein Company Going French Crazy At Cannes

That the Weinstein Company is buying up French films like crazy is totally believable. I mean, those guys are pretty crazy and their recent track record suggests they have no idea what people actually want to see. But it’s not true. Harvey isn’t in Paris greedily gobbling up everything in site. Not yet at least.

TheOneRing.net: The Hobbit Will Be A Trilogy

This one is fooling a lot of people (including me), and I'm still not entirely convinced it's fake but most of the people on their message board are, so I'm dropping it here. Even though the post is time stamped March 31st, it seems TheOneRing.net may have decided to celebrate April 1 on New Zealand time. If the post isn't dated April 1st, I call that cheating guys. Come on now, play fair.

Josh Tyler