Brett Ratner Admits That He's The Anti-Christ

If you love movies, you have plenty of reasons to hate Brett Ratner and he’s been heavily criticized for, well, making stupid films. Here’s another reason to hate him: He knows he makes stupid movies which ruin franchises but thinks you should shut up and love them anyway, because, he’s Brett Ratner and he has your money.

At least that’s what I took away from his interview with Starpulse. Maybe you'll see it differently. In it, he admits what we’ve known all along. Says Ratner, “I'm kind of the Anti-Christ...” Man I so called this one. Some people were like “no way I don’t see any locusts,” but I totally knew he was bringing the Apocalypse. Whoops, wait, maybe I should have read the entire sentence. He continues, “…to these comic book geeks.”

Don’t take it personally geeks, he’s rich! Talking about how much everyone hated the way he ruined X-Men he says, “Every single person that wrote shit went to see that movie multiple times because a movie doesn't gross $200 something million unless people go to see it more than once.” I wrote shit. I saw it once. I’ll never watch it again. X-Men: The Last Stand is a crappy movie. I don’t normally rewatch shitty movies. Maybe the people who didn’t write shit saw it more than once? Just a thought. I mean a lot of people did hate it, but there’s always a group of outliers unwilling to see the obvious. Plus the idea of Pyro fighting Iceman, even if poorly executed, seems kind of cool.

So here’s where Ratner really lays his cards on the table. He’s sounds as if he’s a dumbass and proud of it. In fact he seems to think that's reason he’s successful, unlike that hacky failure Bryan Singer who does all this pussy thinking when he makes movies. Comparing his X-Men movies to Singer’s, Ratner says, “Mine outgrossed the other two by far. Mine was the one that made the most narrative sense. And I'm not knocking Bryan's movie but he just does a certain thing; Bryan uses his brain and I use my eye and my instincts more. It's a whole different approach to making a movie.” Brett Ratner is officially the Stephen Colbert of filmmaking.

But let me present an alternative reason for why his movie might have made more than Bryan Singer’s. People had seen Bryan’s movies, and because they were so good he built a bigger and bigger following for the X-Men franchise. For instance X-Men 2 made more money than X-Men. So people went to see your dumbass movie because Bryan made fans out of them. Then you took a big dump on them. No, you’re probably right. They definitely saw your movie because they were eager to see something without any thought behind it. People suck.

Except Ratner isn’t ready to entirely admit his movies are dumb. “I'm not saying my movie wasn't smart; I just wasn't intellectualizing it. I was just looking at it as pure entertainment value which is what it was.” Wait… what? You’re smart you just don’t think about it. That’s so fucking Zen man. I just went cross-eyed, how about you?

Read more wonderfully deluded insanity from the Brett Ratner, a man who transcends rational thought, over at Starpulse. Or you could just wait till his next movie and pay to see that. Either way, you’re only going to get dumber.

Josh Tyler