Good day, horror fans. I trust that most people reading this story were curled up with a fabulous scary movie (or The Walking Dead, more likely) rather than tuning into the Oscars, a ceremony where horror has been almost completely sidelined for the last 87 years. Maybe you’re watching the now-on-Blu-ray anthology V/H/S Viral, which includes the previously unreleased segment "Gorgeous Vortex" from Todd Lincoln, or the madness that is Adam Green’s Digging Up the Marrow, which was released on Friday.

In smaller news, it looks like micro-budget horror factor Blumhouse Productions will be teaming Mortal Instruments director Harold Zwart with screenwriter Robert Ben Garant (Hell Baby) for a family-friendly horror. And the "shot on an iPhone" thriller Hooked Up was picked up by indie distributors Uncork’d, who will release the flick on VOD on April 7.

And now for the best three minutes of your life.
Alien Tampon Trailer is a Thing That Exists
Let’s be clear about something right away: Germany’s Alien Tampon isn’t actually a feature film yet, and this trailer was created as a fucking amazing proof of concept that will hopefully get enough investors involved to get it expanded into a full flick. To be clearer, Alien Tampon NEEDS TO BE A REAL MOVIE! The trailer reportedly took almost two years to create, according to the project’s website, and director Jan Zenker plans on getting into the crowdfunding game as the next step. Germany is awesome. Here’s the poster, which delivers the perfect amount of "ew."

alien tampon

The story behind Alien Tampon isn’t a complicated one. A UFO appears and there’s a huge conflict going on between aliens and the military… but that’s elsewhere. This story focuses on a girl named Carmen, who has a shitty relationship with a group of girls she attends college with, and in all of her emotional turmoil, she doesn’t realize that she not only dropped a tampon into a pile of alien blood, but also that the tampon is glowing green when she inserts it. Enter cops, an oddball scientist, a homeless dude, a nurse and a bunch of other people, most of whom want to take down the now-murderous Carmen. Who gives a shit what this movie is about? Just get it made.

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