Keith Richards Kicked Out Of Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 For Using Drugs?

If Keith Richards' life has stood for anything, it’s the surprisingly positive effects of hardcore drug use. The Rolling Stones guitarist is a notorious drug user and this drug use has not only made him famous but apparently invincible. The man simply refuses to die. Disney hired him to play Captain Jack Sparrow’s father in Pirates of the Caribbean 3 anyway. Then they cast him again, to reprise the role of Captain Teague in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Only, apparently, they’ve just found out what everyone else on the planet has known for several decades: that Richards uses drugs. Rumor is that Disney’s suits are having second thoughts. Or at least that’s what the Drudge Report would have you believe.

Personally I find it hard to believe that anyone, even notoriously dumb studio executives, could ever actually be that stupid. Disney’s sudden concern over Keith’s sordid, dope filled past is rumored to have been prompted by the impending release of Richards’ new book in which he details not only how he got stoned, but gives advice on how to do it safely. I guess this means Disney isn’t so much against drug use as they are against safe drug use. If you’re gonna get high, then Disney would prefer it if you overdose. That probably explains what’s wrong with Stitch. I’ve always wondered.

It’s also interesting that everyone has decided to view the Pirates films as “family movies”. That’s the reason cited for wanting to ditch Richards, since the prevailing view is that drug users aren’t family friendly (even though they were when the last movie was released and personally I've always found Jason Mewes to be exceedingly cuddly). Remember when Disney family movies used to be PG-rated and if they featured pirates, they’d usually only be of the cartoon, easily scared off by a coconut bombs variety? I realize a lot of families do go see them but the Pirates films are PG-13. If PG-13 movies are now family films then what are PG movies? For that matter why do we even have the G-rating anymore? It gets used about as often as the NC-17. I guess that makes G the new NC-17. Suddenly Showgirls makes sense.

Josh Tyler