Parental Guidance Suggests You're In Trouble, Program!

If you are new to our Parental Guidance column, here's the idea behind it: I concocted a plan to make my 15 year old daughter, Allie, watch movies with me. While she is wise beyond her years, her cinematic expertise was severely lacking. The movies that I am showing her meant a lot to me at different points in my younger life. She only has three more years before she heads to college, and my oldest girl leaving the house is gonna be traumatic. More importantly, what will people think if my daughter doesn't know who Cary Grant is? I have a reputation to uphold. Thankfully, Allie was all for this column and, as you'll find, we've already viewed Raiders of the Lost Ark, Ghostbusters, and Saving Private Ryan together. It's been awhile since the last column due to a family emergency, but now we're back forcing my daughter to watch great movies she's never seen.

The Inspiration

While cleaning out my basement the other day, I found my old Atari 2600. I called my daughters down to the basement to stare in awe at such an amazing piece of wizardry.

They didn't seem to share my excitement so I hooked it up to an old television and put in my favorite game when I was a kid: Pitfall.

Allie and Lindsay couldn't stop laughing. The bad part was that I had already decided on what movie we would watch this week, and if they thought Pitfall sucked, there was a very good chance Allie would not be a big fan of what was on the schedule.


Tron Movie poster

before the film

Every week, I ask Allie a few questions about her knowledge of the film we are about to see before seeing it. Each movie we watch will be the first time she's seen it..

What's the last movie you watched for fun?

I watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkhaban last week with Maci [her friend]. My favorite Harry Potter flick!

What do you know about Tron?

All I know about Tron is that I’ve seen you watch Tron Legacy and from that I know Tron is a computer world. Our dog is named Flynn after something in Tron and our wi-fi is named Flynn’s Arcade, which you told me was in the movie!

Whoa, don't be giving away the wi-fi password geez. Do you think you’ll like this movie?

Well, from the cover of the DVD... I can tell it is really old and most likely has bad graphics. By the way, DVD, Dad? Where's the Blu-ray copy? Yet, I have liked the other movies you shown me, so I’ll try to trust you.

I could have shown you the VHS copy

... The what?

Anyways, this movie is a milestone in special effects. It might not look great compared to modern movies, but at the time, these were state of the art graphics.

I have a bad feeling about this movie, dad.

Tron really is a cool flick to people my age who loved computers. I'm not sure exactly how kids these days will appreciate it. Yet she needs to watch it and respect it's importance. END OF LINE.

After the Film

Allie's Thoughts on Tron

You failed me, Father. I didn’t like this one at all! I was bored from the opening credits. I understand the plot, but the graphics kind of took away the appeal. Tron has worse graphics than my smart phone. I understand it was made in the 80s and all, and I shouldn’t judge it blah blah blah. But I'm in the generation of The Avengers battle and the Lord of the Rings. THIS WAS WORSE THAN GHOSTBUSTER’S GRAPHICS. Like bro, if the slime monster looks better than you... well, I feel sorry for you.

Ouch. So I think I know the answer to this but on a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you like Tron?

What number do you think terrible is? Let's go with a 2.

Really? A two? How about other kids your age?

They would hate it worse. I gave it a two so you wouldn't cry :D.

I wasn't crying. That was allergies. Would you recommend this movie to your friends?

Nope. Never. No way. and here's a tissue. :) Love you Daddy.

Tron Page 3

Dad's Synopsis

Yeah, I had a feeling this movie wouldn't interest her. And to be fair, Tron does not hold up well visually. But man do I love that movie. I love it so much that it makes me ignore all the faults of Tron: Legacy, and I've seen that movie more than 10 times purely because of my love for Daft Punk and Jeff Bridges. The original Tron is a film that Disney just wouldn't make these days. Before Allie reads that last sentence and says "Good!" I just must say that saddens me. The movie took an idea foreign to most people and created an entire world out of it. From now on, this flick will only be watched by me when the kids are out of the house. Maybe I'll play some Pitfall too. Parental Guidance will be back in two weeks and the only hint I'll give for our next movie is "hold on to your butts!"