This week we have a busy one when it comes to new releases, but it appears a quantity-over-quality type of slate. Let’s see what we’ve got going with boys next door, strange magic and a dude named Mortdecai.

Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.

The Boy Next Door
Rotten Watch Prediction
I’m not in the seduction game. It would be hard for you to believe that if you met me in person, as I’m at least an eight. But believe me, it’s true. I don’t have much of a game, and the idea of unabashedly seducing a J-Lo type living next door seems outlandish even by my own lofty standards. Needless to say, there’s a reason I’m not the one starring in this new film.

See a guy who pulls it off in the trailer for The Boy Next Door.
There is one reason to suspect this movie will be a pile of critically-reviled trash, and that reason’s name is Rob Cohen. The dude is the director of The Boy Next Door and has a resume you only read about at the Razzie Awards. He’s helmed such masterpieces as Alex Cross (12%), The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (13%), Stealth (13%) and The Skulls (9%). That is a murderer’s row of crappy flicks. His two crowning achievements are The Fast and the Furious (53%) and XXX (48%) and those only avoided the basement because the stunts were good enough to keep people entertained. This latest film deals with actual people and "relationships". That doesn’t appear to be Cohen’s strong suit.

This thing will almost definitely trend toward the bottom. It looks ridiculous and mildly over the top (not in a good way). While J-Lo will probably hold her own, I doubt she can overcome a silly premise and story that most likely ends with her killing the neighbor. Is there any way out of the mess she creates when sleeping with him? The neighbor seems pretty nuts and I suspect this flick just devolves quickly. I guess it may be a good thing I’m not much at the seduction game.

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