Subscribe To Suspiria Remake From The Director Of Pineapple Express Is Happening Updates
It's long been rumored and now it's officially happening. Dario Argento's giallo classic Suspiria is joining the long line of horror remakes. Director David Gordon Green, who has been attached to the proposed remake since 2007, will helm. However, the press release from Crime Scene Pictures, which will produce the pic along with reps from Memo Films and Sun Film, reveals that Natalie Portman, who was rumored to front the flick early on, will not be filling Suzy's ballet shoes after all. Instead, a search for this Suspiria's "Suzie" is underway.

Like the original, Green's Suspiria will center on the terror-ridden tale of a girl who joins a prestigious ballet academy only to discover it holds a witchy secret. As much as I'm a fan of Portman, I'm glad she looks to have nothing to do with this project. First off, while lovely, she no longer looks like a teenager, and would likely be dinged for attempting to play one. Secondly, she's already mastered the role of terrorized ballerina, and to Oscar acclaim no less! Why repeat herself? Lastly, she has already worked once with Green, and the result was the painfully dull Your Highness. Basically, it's best for her to steer clear of this Suspiria, as it has nothing to offer her.

But what does it offer anyone else? The original was hailed for its strangeness and Argento's uniquely sickening and stylistic brand of horror. So a remake of such an auteur piece seems destined to fail, much as Gus Van Sant's jeered remake of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho did. Beyond that, it's baffling that David Gordon Green, the director behind such wacky and raunchy comedies as Pineapple Express and The Sitter, would be chosen for such a production. It's a match-up that seems like someone's demented idea of a joke. Nonetheless, distribution rights for the in-development Suspiria remake will be shopped at Cannes this May, with production to follow in September. This means updates on casting should follow soon.

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