95% of people take Chemistry in high school to see things blow up. The other 5% are nerds who make videos showing us more stuff we can blow up with Science. I’m almost certain someone with a background in the field probably knew beforehand that gummy bears can be combustible under the right circumstances, but I rather would think it was a complete accident when some guy was eating gummy bears too near a hideous concoction.
So I don’t know if you’ve seen these five pound gummy bears but I have and they are a trip. You read five pounds and you think “that’s big” but then you pick it up and realize you need two hands to effectively manhandle this jiggly bear and you realize this ain’t no game. According to the website of Vat19, the giant gummy bears are the equivalent of 1400 regular sized gummy bears. Perhaps more importantly, they boast a whopping 6,120 calories! With flavors ranging from Cherry Cola to Bubblegum, my wallet and brain are subliminally telling me I need this right now.
It would be extremely cool to freeze and drop off a huge building, or hollow it out and put some alcohol in it for a candy drink. Those are the potential pros. On the con side, I don’t know how the knowledge I spent thirty dollars on a single piece of candy will fare on my self esteem. There’s also the fact that I will try to eat the whole thing and become a type two diabetic in the process. The most likely scenario is that I’ll leave it out and wake up to a ton of ants devouring my now wasted investment.
You know what, this giant gummy bear is too delicious not to buy. So, if you'll excuse me, I've got a bearto buy.