YouPorn Offers Fred Willard Free Computer To Avoid Future Arrests

Wait… why doesn’t Fred Willard use the Internet? That was the response an overwhelming majority of us had after learning the beloved comedian had been arrested at an adult movie theater for allegedly touching his penis during the film. Apparently, executives working for at least one company thought the same thing; so, to show their love to the seventy-two-year-old and generate a little publicity, they’ve offered Willard a solution for pleasuring himself in the future without getting arrested.

According to TMZ, YouPorn sent the actor a letter earlier this week, offering to buy him a brand new computer in order to successfully whack off in the privacy of his own home. If he accepts, the company plans to send out a representative to make the machine Internet ready and educate Willard on how to visit YouPorn.

It’s unclear whether Willard will take the company up on its offer. On the one hand (pun intended), he’s been regularly working for more than forty years and clearly has the funds to buy a new computer himself. On the other hand (pun required based on argument structure), he’s a comedian and almost definitely realizes this whole installation thing would be a hilarious photo opportunity. It’s a tough call, but I bet his PR people will advise him not to.

Look for none of this to have any affect on Willard’s career beyond his termination from PBS’ Market Warriors that already happened.

Mack Rawden
Editor In Chief

Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, a great wrestling promo and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.