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Kelly Osbourne Will Actually Act On CSI: Cyber

The day has finally come, ladies and gentlemen, and no, I’m not talking about National Apple Pie Day. (But apparently that’s a thing that exists, so get on that celebration train as soon as possible.) I’m talking about Kelly Osbourne returning to a primetime series on a broadcast network, which in this case involves the chatty reality star taking a guest spot on Season 2 of the CBS procedural CSI: Cyber.

For her episode, Osbourne will be playing a criminal, and she’s getting one of the most amazing/dumbest nicknames of all time: The Angel of Digital Death. The character’s real name is Stella Kaine, and she’s a malicious hacker that doesn’t legitimately kill people, but she makes it look like it happened. How? By mocking up death certificates for people and then taking all of the money out of their bank accounts and canceling their credit cards, according to TVLine. That’s the kind of behavior that makes me want to start keeping my money in my mattress, although it wouldn’t be that comfortable to sleep on all those quarters.

It’s not clear exactly when Osbourne’s episode will get here, only that it’ll arrive in 2016 at some point, likely after the show returns from its winter slumber. Oh, to see Ted Danson and Kelly Osbourne on the same screen. I don’t know if it’ll be a good thing, but it’s strange to think about nonetheless.

Osbourne isn’t really known for her work on scripted series, but she’s not exactly a novice actress. She’s appeared in series such as the British drama Hotel Babylon, the shortlived ABC comedy Life as We Know It, the TBS comedy Are We There Yet? and a guest spot of Lifetime’s Drop Dead Diva. Not to mention a voice role on Disney’s The 7D as witch Hildy Gloom.

But when the unscripted side of things is considered, Osbourne has been busy for over a decade. She rose to fame as a part of MTV’s The Osbournes, and then moved on to a bunch of hosting and judging gigs for shows such as Project Catwalk, RuPaul’s Drag U, and a couple of Miss USA pageants. And of course there was that whole Fashion Police debacle, which pit her against host Giuliana Rancic in a battle of words. She’ll next be seen as a judge on Australia’s Got Talent in 2016.

Will Osbourne be taken care of in just one episode, or will her criminal antics prove interesting enough to net her subsequent appearances? We’ll have to wait a while to find out. CSI: Cyber will return to CBS on Sunday, December 13, for a two-episode run before taking some time off for the midseason hiatus.

Nick Venable

Nick is a Cajun Country native, and is often asked why he doesn't sound like that's the case. His love for his wife and daughters is almost equaled by his love of gasp-for-breath laughter and gasp-for-breath horror. A lifetime spent in the vicinity of a television screen led to his current dream job, as well as his knowledge of too many TV themes and ad jingles.