TV Recap: House - Top Secret

So, in the first of eight all-new episodes of Fox's medical drama 'House,' the title character has to deal with an ex-Marine who may be suffering from Gulf War Syndrome, a mysterious dream and the fact that he can't pee. And, yes, it is riveting.

The episode begins with a strange scene in the middle of the war in Iraq. It takes a while for us to realize it, but the dream is from the point of view of House himself. He's in a Humvee with three other soldiers, including Riley from 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', when the Humvee is attacked and House loses his right leg. Right before he wakes up, Riley assures him that he'll be okay. Then he wakes up in his office, and Cuddy informs him that he has a new patient, who just happens to be Riley.

Wilson believes that the dream may just be that, but while the rest of House's doctors are off looking into the joint pain and fatigue that Riley complains about, House wants to know where he's seen him. All he knows is that Cuddy's making him look at Riley because his uncle is an important benefactor. Eventually, things deepen when Riley, while undergoing a sleep test, gets bacterial vaginitis (I think that's what it was, specifically), so he has lots of icky discharge.

This is missed by Chase and Cameron because they're...well, they're doing it. A lot. They are majorly horny for each other, even if Cameron swears it's just for sex, and Chase believes she's still not over House. Foreman, however, is the one to find Riley and his discharge, and the Chase-Cameron pairing.

As things get worse for Riley, they get worse for House, who can;t pee, inexplicably. Wilson says it's due to the overuse of Vicodin, but House swears it off. As things get worse and worse, and he is pushed to his limit (not only yelling at a clinic patient, but also at Cameron), he puts himself on a catheter, which does the trick.

Meanwhile, Riley's case deepens, as Wilson assumes that he has a cancer of the salivary gland; it's actually spread to his brain. In fact, there are six tumors on his brain. Or, rather, they are there, until surgery commences...when they have disappeared. And, also? Riley can't feel his legs. While House goes home to fix his urination problems, Chase, Cameron and Foreman pursue a random lead: depleted uranium in Riley's pee. Turns out that there is, but it's not the issue.

The solution comes to House during one of his famous dreams. He dreams, vividly, that he's back in the hospital, and that Riley is losing blood, except there's no sign of it. There is sign of House's catheter bursting. Everyone is shocked to see House on the catheter, and the urine not stopping, but things get weirder when House starts bleeding and Cuddy starts moving around strangely. House wakes up and realizes that Riley has a genetic blood disease that is fixable. He also finds out he's wet his own bed.

The episode ends with House finding out where he knew Riley from, in the dream: Riley came to a hospital party two years back and made out with Cuddy, who realizes that House only remembers because he's jealous. She also refers to something in their past, confirming that the two of them did have something way back when. He's back to his old ways of nagging her and she's back to her ways of just laughing it off. What makes House smile more is when he walks in on Cameron and Chase about to have sex in a supply room. Ah, the good life.

Good episode from 'House.' I always love the surrealism, and this episode had some pretty good laughs. Next week...another shocking mystery! Wow, didn't expect that.