Tonight’s episode of True Blood may very well have been titled “Yuck!!!” given the bit of information we learned about Bill’s family tonight. Before we get to that, let’s give it up for Katherine Helmond, for her guest role as Grandma Bellefleur. I’ll always associate Helmond with her role as Mona from Who’s the Boss, and from one of my favorite guilty-pleasure movies: Overboard.

Great-great-great-great-whoops
So, Portia and Bill’s budding FWB relationship is over. Bill can’t be the first vampire to accidentally have sex with one of his descendents. With vampires living for hundreds of years or more, sooner or later they’re bound to bump into people who share a family tree, right? Learning that Bill is Portia’s great-x4 grandfather, certainly threw a damper on their relationship. With that said, given how he was barely paying attention to her when she was talking earlier, I’m thinking it wasn’t going to last much longer anyway.

“You’re the best I ever had. Next!”
Speaking of keeping it in the family, Jason’s portion of the episode began with him being raped by another one of Crystal’s panther-people. I find it amusing that everyone living in that junkyard seems to play multiple familial roles in each other’s lives. With all of the daddy-uncles and brother-cousins, it’s a wonder they can keep it all straight.

Jason managed to get through to a young girl who was about to have her first time in an effort to conceive a cub. From her reaction, it seems she was unaware that she could have her first sexual experience with someone other than a dirty, cut up, age-inappropriate man tied up in a garage. Moved by the idea of waiting for Mr. Right, the young girl cut Jason loose. He took off and managed to out-smart and outrun Felton long enough to whittle a stake out of a branch and use it to kill the panther-man.

Given that Felton made it perfectly clear that he intended to kill Jason once the breeding process was over, I’d say he had it coming. Crystal was relieved that Felton was dead, but Jason had no intention of being her mate-for-life and ran away from her. The last we saw of him, he was laying half-dead on the side of the road. Jessica and Hoyt found him. I found it very sweet that Jessica didn’t hesitate to offer her blood to Jason if it meant reviving him.

“You drank the whole fairy”
After drinking Claudine dry, Eric was drunk on fairy blood and instead of returning to his cubby like a good amnesiac vampire, he opted to go darting around bon temps and skinny-dipping in a pond. Considering the fairy blood made him temporarily immune to the sun, along with giving him a sort of euphoric mental state, I’d say he was due for a bit of fun in the sun. Sookie got Alcide to help her track him down, resulting in a few moments of both Eric and Alcide shirtless and rippling in the morning sun on screen together.

Sookie went out of her way to keep Eric safe, even going as far as to lie to Bill about where Eric was hidden. There was a brief moment between Sookie and Bill when he first arrived, but that was snuffed out when he nearly forced his way into the house in search of Eric. Their moment wasn’t nearly as intriguing as the one Sookie shared with Eric in his cubby moments earlier. Eric asked Sookie for a kiss and it seemed like she was actually considering giving it to him before Bill showed up.

Spanish Massacre
While Bill’s concerned about the witches, Nan is clearly more worried about the problems the witch situation may cause on the PR nightmare she’s still dealing with. During Nan’s argument with Bill, she mentioned something called the Spanish Massacre, “That was four-hundred years ago. A single powerful witch with a reason to go after vampires.” Nan dismissed the whole thing, believing the witches weren’t any real threat to them or a high priority given the current climate. Of course, she has no idea that the witch she referenced may very well be the one pulling Marnie’s strings.

Marnie dreamed of a witch’s execution and I’m think we should assume this witch is the same one Nan referenced earlier.

Poor Lafayette can’t be thrilled by how things happened went down when Marnie attempted to undo the spell on Eric. After she essentially begged the witch/goddess who’s giving her her powers, to help them undo the amnesia-magic, she was finally presented with some kind of spell, which they all thought was going to do the trick. After getting Pam to come and witness, Marnie channeled the witch and turned Pam into a walking corpse, peeling skin and all. Icky. Losing her looks isn’t likely to put Pam in a good mood and Eric is no closer to getting his memory back.

I’m curious to learn why this witch has a vendetta against vampires and whether or not Eric was directly involved in it.

Merlottes and Mickens
Sam showed up at Luna’s house to learn that she has a daughter and an ex who’s a werewolf. That situation sounds like it may turn out to be another excuse to drag Alcide away from Debbie and back to the action. Speaking of Debbie, was that a twinge of jealousy on her face when she learned that Alcide was off helping Sookie? Is she really rehabilitated? Or is it just an act?

Back to Merlotte/Mickens drama, Tommy returned to his mother, believing she’d left Joe Lee. Something wasn’t right about that situation from the start. Melinda seemed tense and distant with Tommy when he arrived and she never really loosened up. The weirdness was revealed when she started defending Joe Lee and he appeared, chain in hand and promptly began choking Tommy.

I find it hard to care much about Tommy’s story. I remember when Jessica was first introduced to the show and I was afraid I was going to hate her and her pouty, teen-angsty drama. She grew on me quickly and is now one of my favorite characters. I’m not sure the same can or will ever be said about Tommy, but we’ll see. Right now, we see him mostly from Sam’s perspective, and in that respect, he’s a major burden. We haven't really given much reason to like him other than because he's had it rough. With that said, there’s an ugly domestic violence situation going on that needs to be resolved.

Baby Not Yours
Arlene’s been freaking out over her creepy baby since the start of the season and the whole time, Terry’s been intent to shower the child with love and say that he’s perfectly fine. Well, tonight he may be changing his tune as he returned home to find that the baby (presumably) wrote the words “Baby Not Yours” in red crayon (or marker) while his mother and siblings slept on the couch nearby.

As detached as this story is from everyone else that’s going on, I can’t wait to see where it’s going. And I’d love it if it resulted in a guest-appearance by Michael Raymond-James, returning to his role as Rene in some form or another (flashback, dream, apparition, whatever…). Crossing my fingers for that!

Blended From Around The Web

Related

Hot Topics

Hot Shows

Gateway Blend ©copyright 2017