Other Old Fogey Games That Severely Need An Update

With news from EGM that Splatterhouse is going to be getting a long overdue update (Like, OMG), I thought it would nice if Blend Games mentioned a few other, you’re-showing-your-age games that are in dire need of an update, too. Video game companies, are you listening?

Kid Chameleon

Last seen in: 1992

First and foremost, Kid Chameleon is a nonsensical, good ‘ol game fueled by fun and colored in deep, broad strokes of creativeness. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to run from one end of the level to the other and transform into weird, un-related creations that have absolutely no point other than to look cool and kick ass. Seriously, a remake of this game wasn’t made years ago why?

But while the game does sound simple in its scope (and it is), the depth and variety of the characters you can transform into—from a Jason knock-off to a tank—is what keeps you coming back for more. And the story is just plain awesome, too—kids go to a local arcade and find that they all get sucked into a very popular virtual reality arcade game if they can’t beat it. I mean, c’mon, Hollywood, you’re sitting on a gold mine here! A snazzy new update with more characters and deeper levels would fit quite nicely in any seasonal calendar, no doubt about it.

The Adventures of Bayou Billy

Last seen in 1989

Don’t for one second believe the bad hype that this hard as calculus game often gets from people who’ve actually played it. Bayou Billy is absolutely awesome! The plot is basically Crocodile Dundee II, but that won’t even matter once you start blasting chumps with your Wii-mote and doing deadly attacks in the wonderfully simple beat’em up mode that makes up the rest of the game.

What I would like fixed though is the insane difficulty that comes packaged with the title. Having tracked this down again on my emulator, I found that even with my improved gaming skills, I still can’t get very far in the game, as the bad guys never seem to say die. As far as the concept of three games in one, though (There’s a driving segment in there, too, somewhere), I think Nintendo could use this series to show off how versatile the Wii really is. Bring it back in some shape or form, please. I’m begging you, Konami, make the right call!

Punch-Out

Last seen in 1994 I know, the Wii already has boxing on it, but it sucks. Hard. The swings seem unresponsive, the movement seems unnecessary, and your victims are little limbless Rayman rejects, so commonly mistaken for as Miis. What this world really needs, though, is another Punch-out!!, as ‘Lil Mac’s early retirement doesn’t seem justified while the rest of the world has moved on to Fight Night, and (groan) Don King Presents: Prizefighter.

The best part of Punch-out!! was definitely the characters, who shimmered with so much life and stereotypical power (Piston Honda? C’mon!) that it was incredible your house could even tolerate so much awesome electricity. The list of characters who need a 3-D update goes on and on—Glass Joe, Super Macho Man, heck, even ear-biter Iron Mike Tyson (Oh, alright, Mr. Dream) could go another round. Facebreaker be damned, I want another Punch-out!!, pronto!

Bushido Blade

Last seen in 1998

While most likely not possible for an update (Squaresoft and Light Weight started their spat many years ago), it still doesn’t hurt hoping that somebody else will pick up the idea of a realistic fighting game with weapons for a new generation.

My favorite part about Bushido Blade, besides one hit kills, of course, was how it basically played out like a very complex version of Power Stone, with rules and guidelines that adhered to the strict code of the Bushido lifestyle (No stabbing in the back now, ya hear!). It was an intricate, very alarming game at the time, and has grown quite well in its old age. Open world combat could go a long way in this day and age, especially on a powerhouse system like the PS3. If any game needs an update, it’s this one. Forget all the aforementioned others, make Bushido Blade immediately, please. Snap snap, hurry, hurry!