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Super Mario Bros. 2 Is Hard!

October 1st brought along two things: cold ass weather and Super Mario Bros. 2 on the Virtual Console. And let me tell you this—I’m not much of a fan of either. To be blunt, there’s a reason why the REAL Super Mario Bros. 2 (Not that Doki Doki Panic nonsense with Mushroom Kingdom characters plopped into it), never came here stateside until the release of Mario All-Stars on the SNES…the game is just TOO-DAMN-HARD!

Want proof? In the very beginning of the game, the first mushroom you encounter, a weird, darker shaded one than normal, kills you. I kid you not. Mushrooms, those once strangely calcium filled (Do you SEE how tall he grows?) fungi in the first game can actually do the kind of damage they can do to you in real life—kill you.

Now, realism aside (Ha! Realism he says, in a world of winged turtles and Hammer Bros.), the game is just not all that fun. Sure, it’s got the same charm and feel as the first game, but with its, “miss this jump and your toast” gameplay, and ludicrously unchanged “Luigi game” (It’s the same damn thing except Luigi can’t stop moving for beans once he lands from a jump), it’s little wonder that it’s rumored that Master Miyamoto was massively depressed during the release of the game. It shows, as I think this game is his own personal hell put onto a computer chip.

Still, that said; if you’re thinking about buying it on the Virtual Console, go ahead, it’s cheap (Only 600 points). But I’m just warning you in advance…if you have high blood pressure, you may want to play something more soothing. Try Sim City instead.

Rich Knight
Rich Knight

Rich is a Jersey boy, through and through. He graduated from Rutgers University (Go, R.U.!), and thinks the Garden State is the best state in the country. That said, he’ll take Chicago Deep Dish pizza over a New York slice any day of the week. Don’t hate. When he’s not watching his two kids, he’s usually working on a novel, watching vintage movies, or reading some obscure book.