April Fool: Your Guide To Holiday Lies
It’s officially April 1st, the day every year when the world’s journalists unite to pretend they’re writing for The Onion. It’s a fantasy we all, even those of us who are only marginally journalists, share. Celebrating April Fools day, for entertainment reporters anyway, means lying to your readers, and normally otherwise honest and responsible journalists sink their teeth into fibbing with vigor and vim. Those who find they like it too much will eventually give up being responsible reporters and become irresponsible bloggers, for whom today is just a normal Tuesday.
So all day and for the rest of the day, expect the internet to be filled with fake-outs, pranks, and flat out falsehoods. I’ll be here maintaining my traditional boycott of all holidays, though you never know when some of the other CB staff might decide to participate in the April Fools merrymaking.
Instead of inventing my own pranks, I’m going to do my best to provide all of you with a public service, and help you sort through the April Fools foolishness being told around the web. Below is a listing of all the April 1st stories which we’ve confirmed to be April Fools prankery. If you’re wondering if that story you just read about Harrison Ford playing Plastic Man is real or not, check here and see if we have it on the naughty list. I’ll keep updating this page with pranks as we find them.
April Fooled! A Full List Of Fake Holiday Reporting:
Legend of Zelda movie trailer - IGN put way too much effort into their prank. I have no idea what this video on their site is, but I'm pretty sure there's no Zelda movie. Nice try though.
Iron Man gets staggered release - Screen Rant didn't go in for the wild, splashy, April Fool lies most sites go for. They just monkeyed around with Iron Man's release dates.
Harrison Ford to return as Han Solo! - Our buds over at Moviehole seem to be having more fun with this holiday than anyone else. This is just one of their many April Fools fake stories, so be wary of anything you read over there. It’s also the one I most wish was true. But it’s not. Sorry Peter Mayhew, put away that Chewie costume.
Christian Bale and Brandon Routh Sign For Justice League! - Even if it wasn’t April Fools there’s a good chance this story would be fake. We’ve all been fed so many false JLA stories (no that Hayden one we ran was not an early April Fools joke) that nobody really believes anything about it anymore. Well make it a point not to believe this one. The boys at Cinematical are just messing with you.
Gyllenhaal is Spidey! - In 2005 CB’s own Rafe Telsch ran a similar story as his April Fool’s joke. That was before Spider-Man 3, and in his gag report he claimed Topher Grace was taking over as the webhead. People seemed to get excited and believe it when Rafe did it, so I suspect JoBlo is soon to be deluged by comments from heartbroken Tobey Maguire fans littering their comments section with homophobic Brokeback Mountain jokes. Sucks to be them.
Jason Biggs Cast as Spider-Man - Another in the ever popular, Spider-Man nightmare casting series. This one from Moviehole’s Ramius, where, as I mentioned further up, they’re loving the hell out of this holiday. This one’s really the most horrifying of the bunch. At least Gyllenhaal might be good. Now I’m stuck with the mental image of Spider-Man humping a pie crust. Thanks for the nightmares Ramius.
Colin Farrell in Once remake - Another one from Moviehole, and another one I’m delighted isn’t at all true. Side note, is anyone else starting to get the feeling that Falling Slowly is being over played in the bathrooms of movie theaters? I love the song, but I don’t need hear it every time I empty my bladder AMC. Change it up a little bit. Give me some Yanni. I hear he’s good for the urinary tract.
Cloverfield Monster in Transformers 2 - Couldn't the Cloverfield monster just step on the Transformers? They aren't that big, I don't think it would be much of a fight. Be glad this one from GFR isn't true, or it'd mean Shia LaBeouf being fitted with a Shaky Cam.
Rogen is Rowlf in new Muppet movie - Hello again Moviehole. This one is actually fairly plausible. After all, Jason Segel is writing the script and the Frat Pack tends to stick together. The character’s voice was originally performed by Jim Henson, so it wouldn’t be sacrilege to bring someone else in to take over the part either. Heck, Rogen’s voice even sort of resembles Rowlf’s. The story's a joke, but it’s actually not a bad idea.
Michael Bay announces Transformers 2 robots - Apparently Galvatron as a parrot, and his name is Laserbeak. The funny thing here isn't the story, but the fact that a few of The Movie Blog's readers actually seemed uncertain whether the story was an April Fool joke or not. Grimlock is a "military grade hammer"? Come on folks!
X-Files: Full Moon Rising - The gang over at IESB decided to go with a fake X-Files rumor, one concerning the title. I'd have gone with X-Files: Bad Moon Rising guys. Funnier! Only one problem with IESB's story... it's dated March 31st. Isn't that cheating?
Superman vs. Spider-Man movie - Slash Film is another site that's sort of cheating on the whole April Fools thing, by running their gag on March 31st. At least it's an obvious gag. Still, you have to wait till April 1st to do an April Fools joke. Stop with the cheating internet!
There Will Be Farts poster - Rope of Silicon wins the award for most effort put into their prank. They actually went through the trouble to make a fake poster for a fictional upcoming parody movie called Art House Movie: There Will Be Farts.
Sea Monkeys Movie - Comic Book Movie has looked into my deepest darkest fantasies and used the prospect of a Sea Monkeys movie a their gag. Sea Monkeys always get the shaft.
Steven Spielberg Remakes Duel and Jaws - The guys at Bloody Disgusting seem to love April Fools nearly as much as Moviehole. They've got two gags for you, this is the first. For the record, I actually think a remake of Duel could be a good idea.
Tyler Perry makes a Horror movie - The second one from Bloody Disgusting, and it's actually funny, and appropriate in light of recent stories in the trades that Tyler Perry may be looking for a wider audience.
Wolverine Vs. Hulk - Another one from Comic Book Movie, this time claiming Wolverine will have a cameo in Hulk. Well it ain't happening.
Nicholas Brendon is replacement Spider-man - Third fake out from CBM. Yet another fake Spider-Man casting story. I'm really glad we didn't do one this year.
World of Warcraft Molten Core - Hey we have a gaming section on this site too, so here's this... an April Fools joke from the folks at World of Warcraft. It's an advertisement for their new console game, which they say "has sound" and "lush 2D environments". I'm sold!
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