Disney Turning Jungle Cruise Into A Movie

With all the money Pirates of the Caribbean has made, Disney now has it in their head that they maybe they should turn more of their rides into movies. I've been saying for years now that there's a big picture buried somewhere in the Tea Cups, assuming Disney doesn't mind vomit.

While I try and pitch that Tea Cups project to them, they'll be busy turning the Jungle Cruise into a feature flick. Oddly enough, when I first started reading this story in The Hollywood Reporter, the first ride that came to mind for use as a lame joke was Jungle Cruise. The jokes on me, they're actually doing it. Personally, I think if they aren't going to take my Tea Cups idea, there's more material to be mined in Peter Pan's Flight. Just imagine a movie based on a ride that's based on a movie that's based on a book. It's like an adaptation fevered Hollywood's wet dream.

The Jungle Cruise movie is being planned as an adventure film. David Hoberman and Troy Lieberman of Mandeville Films have been brought in to produce it. How exactly they'll get an adventure film out of it is anyone's guess. I mean, the obvious way to do it is simply make a river boat movie, but you hardly need the ride to come up with that idea.

"Jungle Cruise" is one of the original 22 rides that were there when the first Disney park opened back in 1955. I rode it some time in the early 90s, and even then the lines were pretty short. It's amazing that the thing stays in operation, it's incredibly outdated. Riders take a leisurely, relaxing trip down a fake river populated by attacking robot gorillas and alligators. It's just not that cool, and I can't imagine the movie will be either.

The thing Disney is forgetting while swimming in their orgy of Pirates money is that though Pirates was a big success, their other movie based on a ride, The Haunted Mansion, was not. Maybe they blame that on Eddie Murphy. Why not, everyone else does.