Legendary action star Sylvester Stallone isn’t exactly known for playing characters who use refined problem solving methods like "talking," "negotiating" or "empathizing" with his enemies. While that’s certainly not unique to the genre, Stallone’s protagonists were also especially dickish in their dispatch methods. Now, thanks to an amazing, adrenaline-injected supercut highlighting every kill made in his cinematic body of work, we get to sit back and enjoy all his maniacal machinations to murder the malevolent.
YouTube user Auralnauts, whose mission statement declares that "every movie is supposed to be a comedy," has thrown together this amazingly elaborate new supercut not only highlighting Stallone’s cinematic slaughters, but shows them in chronological order, tallying the number and even giving a detailed rundown of the various methods at the end. The cinematic splicers actually did this brilliantly with Arnold Schwarzenegger about a year ago with a similar cut. Now, the other major head on the Mount Rushmore of action movies gets the same treatment, and it is a magnificent montage of madness. You may also want to check out the version of the video with commentary.
When it comes to Stallone’s protagonists, whether they be former elite soldiers, stylish super-cops, or the rock…climber…rescue…guy he played in Cliffhanger, their shared proclivity for poetic kills was also usually unified with a broader, topical revenge theme. That's bad news if you’re a movie villain who’s drawn him as the hero, because more likely than not, you’re going to be in for either a violent, gory end or an insanely over-the-top (no pun intended) lead-up to an elaborate demise as he watches from the shadows in homicidal euphoria. Yet, at the same time, as the plot inevitably dictates, you would clearly deserve such a fate as moviegoing audiences everywhere will cheer your demise with glee.
Interestingly enough, when the final tally has been taken, Stallone’s kill total was a whopping 539. That even beats the 509 totaled in Schwarzenegger’s supercut. Although, in Arnie’s defense, his video was released on December 2013 and only went as far as 2013’s The Last Stand. Thus, with more recent showings such as Escape Plan (with Stallone), Sabotage and The Expendables 3 (also with Stallone), the former Governator probably has bragging rights for the greater kill count.
It is also interesting to see the how the crossover direction to both Stallone and Schwarzenegger’s careers have affected the kill counts. As it stands, Stallone’s kill count pre-Expendables was only 321, which means the final 539 tally shows that his kill count has almost doubled in the past five years. So, should the message we take from all of this be that the older they get, the more homicidal they become?
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