Jen Garner Dates McConaughey

It’s a big day for Matthew McConaughey. First we got the news that he’s replacing Owen Wilson in Tropic Thunder, now Variety says he gets to date Jennifer Garner… in his new movie that is.

The film is Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, in which McConaughey plays the same character he always plays: a charming womanizer. Let’s face it, he’s basically always plays a pot-free version of himself. McC's acting method can be summed up this way: He pretends he's not stoned. In this case, the hempless screen McConaughey is visited by the ghosts of past, future, and present girlfriends. Not sure how present and future girlfriends can be apparitions, being a ghost usually implies death, and being death tends to make a woman very hard to date. There’s all those maggots to deal with.

After being shown the error of his womanizing ways, Matt McC decides to give it up and fall for his childhood sweetheart. He then lives the rest of his life as a total pussy… at least that’s how I imagine the lives of most of the men in rom-coms go after the credit roles.

Jennifer Garner is in negotiations to join the cast. No word on who she’ll play, but here’s a clue: She looks here best when not covered in maggots.

Josh Tyler