Jessica Alba Learns Love From Mike Myers

Jessica Alba has joined the cast of the Mike Myers movie The Love Guru, according to Variety. Hopefully this doesn’t mean we’ll have to watch Mike crawl all over her clad only in his tighty-whities. It was bad enough when he was younger, but now as a more mature gentleman it just may make me throw up.

The movie centers around a new Mike Myers character named Pitka, an American raised in India by gurus. He returns to America and starts dispensing love advice to a hockey player and his wife. Romany Malco, who was genius in The 40 Year-Old Virgin, will play the hockey player. Jessica Alba will not play his wife. In a strange bit of casting, Alba is playing the team’s owner. Meanwhile, former Mini-Me Verne Troyer is playing a very small-statured hockey coach.

This sounds like a dream project for Mike, since it combines his love of ridiculous characters with his love of hockey. Actually, I’m starting to think the whole thing was concocted mostly as an excuse for Myers to hang around at a hockey rink.

Josh Tyler