Probably no sense in screwing around here with lame jokes or double entendres. This week The Avengers hits the big screen. Let’s get it on!

Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.

The Avengers
Back in 1992 a group of dudes got together to play a little hoop and run a little rock for their country. They came along at a time when the United States needed them. They donned the red, white and blue and systematically destroyed everything in their path, crushing inferior and awestruck opponents. They were superheroes with names like Magic, Larry Legend, His Airness, The Admiral, The Mailman, The Round Mound of Rebound and Clyde the Glide. At the time they were the best of the best, assembled to signify the greater good and symbolize America’s abundant strength. They were the Dream Team and they won Olympic Gold with relative ease.

It’s easy to forget just how groundbreaking the formation of the Dream Team was at the time. We hadn’t seen anything like their unique and awe-inspiring hugeness. They were a gathering of superstar parts, each well established as individual pieces, but put together to create something transcendent.

Twenty years later Joss Whedon (Serenity-82%) has done something similar for the big screen. In assembling The Avengers and putting them in one, big, kickass flick together, he’s possibly changed the landscape of comic book movies. Coordinating multiple franchises, putting all the major players on screen together and pumping out a critically acclaimed masterpiece (?) he may have set a new bar for big budget, fanboy cinema. How can you not get excited for it?

This Dream Team has names like Captain America, The Hulk, Iron Man, Thor, Black Widow, and Hawkeye. Though the last two don’t necessarily stack up with the rest of the group, these players have more than enough star power as individual pieces. Together, at least according to early, overwhelmingly positive reviews, the whole is much more than sum of its parts. If it sounds like I’m gushing without even having seen the movie, well I am, but it’s because something like this movie probably shouldn’t work and yet according to CinemaBlend’s Eric Eisenberg, “They actually did it!”

Can any other comic book movie ever stack up against The Avengers in terms of spectacle? I suppose if Christian Bale as Batman, some dude as Superman, Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern and Vinnie Chase as Aquaman teamed up for a mega flick (Justice League) it’d be on par, but it wouldn’t be the first. Whedon and company have assembled the first comic book movie Dream Team. They’ve set the standard from here on out. The Rotten Watch for The Avengers is 92%.

Recapping last week:

Another fairly strong week for the Rotten Watch with two money predictions, one minor miscue and a close prediction that we won’t count on the resume. Let’s take a look:

The Raven (Predicted: 24% Actual: 22%) and The Five Year Engagement (Predicted: 71% Actual: 63%) were right in the sweet spot. I knew a flick about Edgar Allen Poe solving mysteries had to be horrible and smart-ish rom-coms like Segel’s latest tend to fall in a predictable range. Both solid predictions.

Meanwhile Safe (Predicted: 31% Actual: 54%) missed the mark by a bit. Jason Statham’s resume is fairly consistent but every once in awhile he’s able to turn something in a few more critics can get behind. This was one of those flicks. Love me some Statham.

Finally, The Pirates! Band of Misfits (Predicted: 90% Actual: 88%) was right there, but so many reviews were in on this already that I can’t count it for the resume.

Next week, Burton and Depp get all shadowy together. It’s going to be a Rotten Week!

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