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This Rotten Week: Predicting Magic Mike XXL And Terminator: Genisys Reviews

Everyone enjoying their summer? Well, the blockbuster train keeps on rolling this week, with two more big flicks hitting the screens. Hitting cinemas everywhere will be both Channing Tatum and Arnold Schwarzenegger making returns to familiar roles, as Magic Mike XXL and Terminator Genisys arrive set to hit theaters nationwide.

Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.


Magic Mike XXL


Rotten Watch Prediction


I don’t know if it’s the male patterned baldness, the excessive body hair, the lack of any semblance of rhythm, or that I’m about 10-15 pounds over optimal weight, but I just don’t think I could cut it as a male stripper. Not that one should let dreams die so quickly, but if I needed to pivot careers at this point in my life, it doesn’t seem like there’d be a big stripper market for what I have to offer. Besides, the cast of the Magic Mike movies seem to be representing the culture just fine on the big screen.

See the guys that have the goods in the trailer for Magic Mike XXL

The first Magic Mike (80%) was a big surprise, at least to this writer. Who knew a film with a terrible title about male strippers could score that well with critics? Even with Steven Soderbergh as the director, I was skeptical. But it ended up a big critical hit and that kind of success in Hollywood necessitates a sequel - even if the sequel appears just another chance to flaunt some bros around while telling jokes about the profession as a whole. This isn’t to say it looks bad, as I giggled a couple of times in the trailer. I’m mostly just shocked that we are heading for round two of this character.

Director Greg Jacobs is more known for his role as a producer, working on films like Contagion (84%) Edge of Tomorrow (90%), Haywire (80%), typically pairing with Soderbergh who directed the first Magic Mike. Now Jacobs takes a turn behind the lens in this sequel. I don’t suspect it finished close the original in terms of critical reception, mostly because that film probably outkicked its coverage to begin with.

That all being said, Channing Tatum is a mega-star who also has comedic chops to go with the requisite looks to play this kind of role. This combined with Jacobs’ other relative success in film makes me think it finishes above the halfway point for sure. But isn’t a critical darling. Reunion tours typically aren’t as strong as the original act but rather a decent chance to get the band back together for one last victory tour. That’s the theme of this film in more ways than one.

Terminator: Genisys


Rotten Watch Prediction


I’m a Terminator franchise junkie, plain and simple. I’m an apologist for the most recent incarnations; think Judgment Day is one of the best films of all time; didn’t hate Rise of the Machines like many others; and was one of the few fans of The Sarah Connor Chronicles both from an analysis standpoint and as a completely underappreciated, short-lived show. I’m documenting some of my nerd fandom here as a preface to this next statement: It’s might be time to call it quits on this franchise. It pains me. But it’s true.

See the latest version of Arnold, John Connor and company in the trailer for Terminator Genisys below:

When James Cameron first brought us Terminator back in 1984, it offered a bleak and dark look at the future in which machines would ultimately take over and destroy the world. T2 set new ground for the sci-fi flick, wrapping a nearly perfect story about family, technology, and love with some of the most bad-ass special effects we’d seen. That movie still holds up to the this day. The subsequent iterations have only shown increasingly diminished returns, though admittedly that second film is a tough act to follow. They shouldn’t have tried.

The problem with the Terminator series at this point is it’s a circular, unsolvable knot of time travel, machine takeover and "fighting the future" with each new installment only serving to prove that the film before did nothing to change the inevitable. One can grow weary from this problem. And I think that’s definitely happened here.

Genisys doesn’t look terrible. It’s Kyle Reese heading back to save Sarah Connor, and by proxy the entirety of the human existence. The problem is we’ve been down this path so many times how can we ever believe it’ll end? And I don’t mean it has to end well. Hell, make the machines win and let’s call it a day. That won’t be the case with more films planned after this one. But early reviews are poor and I’d just assume leave us with as many positive Terminator memories as we have now and end the thing. And that’s from a mega-fan.


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last rotten week

Last week was not a one, with a hit and a miss. Ted 2 (Predicted: 53% Actual: 46%) fell right in line my prediction, coming in around the midway point. I understand these reviews. I suspect if you are a fan of Seth McFarlane’s brand of humor, this film hits the mark in a big way. If not, you thought it was terrible and I doubt there’s very much in between. The reviews who liked the film admit that it’s a silly, raunchy flick without much of a story, though the laughs carried them through. The other side of it basically called it a stupid mess of a flick. Saw this kind of feeling a mile away as that seems to be the reception to McFarlane in general.

Meanwhile, I thought the heartfelt sappiness of Max (Predicted: 54% Actual: 38%) would carry it enough with critics. That didn’t happen, and even the sappiest of stories can’t always win the day with a majority of critics. I thought Max looked cute enough except for a "stop a caper" subplot that just felt all wrong. Critics echoed this sentiment and thought the second half of the film devoted to Max and company stopping a local crime was a silly piece of plotting. It hurt the scores overall and this prediction missed the mark even though I had most of the major points covered.

Next time around we see The Gallows, and catch up with the Minions, and Self/Less. It’s gonna be a Rotten Week!

Doug Norrie

Doug began writing for CinemaBlend back when Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles actually existed. Since then he's been writing This Rotten Week, predicting RottenTomatoes scores for movies you don't even remember for the better part of a decade. He can be found re-watching The Office for the infinity time.