The movie date, it's a classic. A date that's tried and true even if it is a bit banal. Who doesn't want to enjoy the pleasures of the cinema with that special someone? For one Texas couple, not only did they enjoy the old standby, they spiced it up to misdemeanor levels. Just when you thought that texting and piracy was the biggest problem movie theaters had to contend with from customers...
The two suspects, 39-year-old Melissa Feist-McCuistion and 40-year-old Adam Emmet Lee, face charges of public lewdness. They were booked into the Bexar County Jail last week and released on bond not long after. The report indicates that it was around midnight on Thursday at the Santikos Casa Blanca Theater in San Antonio, when an assistant manager witnessed the couple in Theater 13 having a little midnight delight. He then retrieved his manager to help address the issue. They returned to the theater to find Feist-McCuistion on top of Lee and proceeded to tell her to dismount. It is at this point that the couple were so shocked at getting caught having sex in a public place, that they just "stood there for a long time", like you he had just barged into their bedroom prior to getting dressed. Amazing.
There's a lot to unpack here. Apparently Texas just isn't the Wild West it once was, nor is a movie theater a Dothraki wedding, and in modern times, having sex in public is frowned upon. Movie theaters can be intimate environments, especially with these comfy new seats theaters are installing. But come on guys, this is why drive-ins exist. I'm glad that it was the theater's managers who were the ones to interrupt the deed. There's no way the guy who sells popcorn or sweeps the floor gets paid enough for that.
There are so many questions about this. It was a late showing, but were there other people in the theater? Did someone complain? Logic dictates they were sitting in the back but what if they were in the front row? Who has to clean the seats? The real question is what movie were they seeing. Did their choice put them in the mood? Or was it so boring they had to make their own entertainment? We may never know. But, at least we know what the suspect, Adam Emmet Lee, was thinking. He admitted the act to police, saying, according to My San Antonio,
Yah man, I should have known better... was stupid on my part... we were just having a little fun!
This Texas fellow joins a long, illustrious line of human beings, throughout history, who in their contrition, following an act of poor judgment, have uttered the phrase 'we were just having fun'. We will keep tackling the very specific, and strangely busy, movie theater crime beat here at CinemaBlend.